The Motivation Myth: How High Achievers Really Set Themselves Up to Win

by Jeff Haden

I was in the grip of an insidious myth. I thought motivation was a prerequisite to starting a tedious learning process—a spark necessary to get me going. But motivation is really a result. Motivation is the fire that starts burning after you manually, painfully, coax it into existence, and it feeds on the satisfaction of seeing yourself make progress.

When you consistently do the right things, success is predictable. Success is inevitable. You just can’t think about it too much. No obsessing allowed.

The road to a target, to a goal, or to a finish line is filled with countless hours of work and determination and sacrifice . . . and countless opportunities to feel good about what you have accomplished, each and every day along the way.

A slice of satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness can be found in the achievement . . . but the real source of consistent, lasting happiness lies in the process.

Incredibly successful people set a goal and then focus all their attention on the process necessary to achieve that goal. They set a goal and then, surprisingly, they forget the goal.

To accomplish anything worthwhile, and especially to achieve a goal others say is impossible, you have to work your ass off. There are no shortcuts. The only way is the hard way.

Actually, motivation is a result. Motivation is the pride you take in work you have already done—which fuels your willingness to do even more.

You feel motivated because you took action. Motivation is a result, not a precondition. You don’t need motivation to break a sweat. Break a sweat and you’ll feel motivated.

Kirk didn’t want to be a rock star. He wanted to play guitar. The goal was, in an odd way, actually the process.

When you put in the time and effort, when you make improvements, when you gain a certain level of skill, you become the thing that you’re trying to achieve. “Becoming” feels wonderful because you’ve earned it.

when you transform yourself into a leader or an entrepreneur or a runner or a musician or whatever you hope to be, you no longer need motivation. You don’t have to find the motivation or willpower; you do what you need to do because that’s who you are.

Tony is right in one way: All the motivation you need is already inside you. But you won’t tap into it by seizing a single moment of inspiration. You won’t stay motivated because you experienced one “aha!” moment. You’ll stay motivated when you find a process you trust and commit to working that process for as little as a week. Forget how far you need to go to reach your goal; just commit to following the process for a week.

The key is to set a goal, use it as a target that helps you create a plan for achieving it . . . and then do your best to forget all about that goal. As I learned from James Clear, a leading thinker on the subject, the best use of a goal is to inform the process you will follow to achieve it.

Everyone has goals. The people who actually achieve their goals create routines. They build systems. They consistently take the steps that, in time, will ensure they reach their ultimate goal. They don’t wish. They don’t hope. They just do what their plan says, consistently and without fail. They forget the goal and focus solely on the process.

Dream big. Set a huge goal. Commit to your huge goal. Create a process that ensures you can reach your goal. Then forget about your huge goal and work your process instead.

Likable people already know what they know. They want to know what other people know. They ask questions. They ask for details. They care about what other people think, and they show it by listening. That makes the people they meet feel important. It makes the people they meet feel likable. (As well they should, because they are.) And it makes the people they meet like them for making them feel that way.

Don’t blame.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic; it’s empowering—because then we focus on doing things better, or smarter, the next time. And when we get better or smarter, we’re also more likable.

The only way to form genuine relationships is to stop trying to impress . . . and start being yourself.

barring some stroke of financial lightning that no one could foresee, there is no way to accumulate millions of dollars in wealth unless you start your own business.

The only way to become financially rich is to start your own business, even if it’s just on the side. Even if it’s just, at first, a slightly stepped-up hobby. Any other approach will not make you rich.

You may regret not having worked to find more fulfilling or enjoyable work, but when you’re on your deathbed you will not regret failing to earn a more important title or snag a cooler office or make more money. Instead you’ll think about what would have made you feel happier or more fulfilled.

That’s why personal goals are important not just to set but to achieve. Achieving personal goals, no matter how silly, how frivolous, or how impractical, is rewarding. And as you pursue those goals you meet new people, make new connections, build new friendships, and, best of all, feel better about yourself. Those are all things we can use more of in life.

The beauty of serial achievement is that over time you become more than one thing. You can be a Web designer and a musician and an athlete . . . and then you can become something else as well, knowing that when you have achieved a certain level of skill or experience you can work to achieve something else. Plus, the skill you gain will not be wasted if or when you move on to another pursuit.

Most people wait for an idea. Most people think creativity happens. They expect a divine muse to someday show them a new way, a new approach, or a new concept. And they wait and wait and wait. Occasionally, great ideas do just come to us. Mostly, though, creativity is the result of effort: toiling, striving, refining, testing, and experimenting. The work itself results in inspiration. Don’t wait for ideas. Don’t wait for inspiration. Big ideas most often come from people who do, not people who dream.

If you think about it, success in every field requires some level of creativity. If you aren’t coming up with new ideas, new approaches, or new processes, then you’re just doing what everyone else already does.

That’s why the fewer choices you are forced to make, the smarter the choices you can make when you do need to make a decision.

“Discomfort is growth,” Tyler says. “To constantly improve, and to be more resilient and adaptable, whenever there is a fork in the road, choose discomfort over comfort and you will grow. We’re used to choosing comfort. We’re used to choosing the easy way. Yet all our success and growth comes from choosing the hardest and least comfortable way.

What changed? My skill wasn’t the problem. My self-imposed limit was the problem. I didn’t think it was possible to go flat out . . . so it wasn’t. Once I knew it was possible, it was possible. Nothing changed except my perspective—and, as a result, my skill. I had stopped thinking about going a little faster than I had earlier and started thinking about trying to be as fast as Ross. I was no longer my benchmark. Ross was my benchmark.

when superstar performance is your bar, you automatically set your goals higher—and that makes you achieve more. Stop comparing your present self with your past self. Start comparing your present self—regardless of how far you think you have already come—with what is actually possible. Stop looking back. Start looking forward to see how far you can still go. And then work hard to get there. Do what the pros do.

“The key to my perseverance was absolutely loving the craft of acting,” she said. “I just figured that if I kept doing it, at the very least I would get better at acting. Even if I didn’t become a tremendous success, so long as I knew I was improving and getting better, to me, that was success. Feeling successful is internal, not external.