Oh Honey

by Emily R. Austin

I am trying not to smoke because I am unhealthy.

The elevator in my apartment whines while it lifts me.

It cries in its elevator tongue that it is in desperate need of repairs. "I am in desperate need of repairs,” it bawls.

I wonder if anyone has ever had sex in this elevator. I wonder if anyone has ever done drugs in this elevator. I then remember that I have had sex and done drugs in this elevator.

Is that the master plan, Jane? Too goddamn craven to commit the act yourself?" I stifle a laugh at