Axios: A Spartan Tale (Axios Series)

by Jaclyn Osborn

“Do you not see, Ax?” he asked, shaking his head. “When we are together, all I think about is you. Because we were at odds today, I made many foolish mistakes—mistakes I do not make. I can never be the warrior I’m meant to be because I do place you first. Always.” My heart did not ache anymore—I barely felt it. “Is this goodbye, Eryx? If it is, tell me now so that I may spare myself this torment of anticipation and leave your sight.”

We had both been in the wrong that day—him with his ignorant decision to marry out of duty, and me with kissing the king—but it wasn’t too late to mend those mistakes. To save what we had. His next words could either heal my wounds or tear them open wider.

expression. “And I swear I will forever choose you. When the day comes and we are asked to settle down with wives, I will refuse them. Sparta can have my life, but she cannot take my heart.” What I needed to tell him could not be said with words.

“What did you tell my mother?” I asked. The indention appeared in his cheek as he smiled. “I told her I would not take Leanna, nor any other woman, as my wife for I already belonged to someone. When she inquired as to whom it was, I told her the truth. That I loved her son.” My eyes widened. I wasn’t sure what shocked me more; that he’d told her about us or that he’d just confessed he loved me.

“We could always have a wedding just between us,” he suggested, raising his brows. “A ceremony by our stream. And maybe Theon could marry us.” I snorted and gently pushed him away. Yet, my heart ached with want and sang at his words. “I love you, Ax,” he said, becoming serious. “I know we may not ever have the life you wish to have, but I hope having my word is enough. My heart and my body are yours until the end of our days. I swear it to you, by the gods.”

“Eryx, look at me.” When he did not obey, I grabbed his chin and forced him to. “A man without fear is not brave. Bravery comes from being afraid, but doing a thing anyway. To be courageous is to fear death, and yet, charge at the enemy anyhow. Fear does not make you a coward. But overcoming it makes you a man.”

“I shall never forget the way your skin smells in the morning,” he whispered, brushing his nose along my shoulder blade and up to my nape where he then placed a kiss. “Nor how warm you feel in my arms.” I closed my eyes and focused on every place we connected—the light pressure of his arm around my waist, the moving of his chest as he breathed, and the softness of his lips on my neck. They were things I stored into memory. Treasured.

“I should not be surprised to see you finding the smallest glimmer of happiness in such an ominous expedition. The man who finds joy in unraveling the mysteries of nature and who questions everything… of course you would seek the light when cast in shadow.” I considered his words before responding, “Even in dark days, we must always seek the light. Once we surrender to darkness, we lose hope, and without hope… we have already lost.”

“You trust me, do you not?” he asked in a soft tone, moving his hand along my bare stomach and causing chills to spread from where his fingers caressed my sensitive skin. “If so, hear these words and hold them close whenever you are in the clutches of doubt. You and I will never part, my warrior. In this life and the next, we will be just as we have forever been: side by side. There is not a thing that can take me from you, neither the slashing of a sword nor the impalement from a spear, for I will always find you.”

“By the gods, answer me!” “Because they aren’t me, Quill!” Theon shouted. His shoulders slumped and he lowered his gaze. “They aren’t me.” I could not see Quill’s face, but his spine straightened and he became very still. “It is like a dagger to the heart when you are with them,” Theon said in a melancholy tone. “It twists my insides to know you pleasure them. That your lips touch theirs.” “I… I did not know that’s how you felt.” Quill shook his head and took a step back.

“Do you wish to hear a story?” Eryx asked, breaking the silence. He hadn’t told me one in so long, and I missed them. “Yes,” I said, leaning against his shoulder and staring at the sun sinking below the mountain. A pause followed as he pressed his face into my hair. Then, he pulled away and rested his cheek against the top of my head. “There once was a boy who questioned all things,” he started, putting his arm around me. “Our purpose for being in this life and why the sky was blue. The question he asked most, though, was what formed the stars. ‘Are they gods?’ he’d ask as he lay in the meadow at night, pointing up at them. Another boy, who had taken a liking to him, followed him everywhere he went and tried his best to answer the boy’s many questions. ‘The stars are heroes, men who died and are now commemorated for their bravery in battle,’ he’d answer the boy he adored.” I smiled as it occurred to me the story he told—the one of us. “What happened next?” I asked, closing my eyes and breathing in his earthy scent. “While each day challenged them, they only grew closer,” he answered. “And against all odds and the toughest training any man could ever endure, they fell in love.”

brow. “You wished to make love by the sea, did you not?” His unexpected act of care caused a lump to form in my throat. I had believed him to dismiss my dreams of living in that beautiful place with no consideration of how it had wounded me to hear the truth, and yet, there he was trying to give me a part of that dream in the only way he could.

asked, “What happened after he kissed you?” Even though he had asked the question so casually, I felt him tense. “I denied his request for more, we said our goodbyes, and then I left,” I answered, sparing him from the unnecessary details. “One reason I believe the day meant so much to me was because… and you may think this silly… but he told me I was extraordinary. Yet, it was more than that. You had just informed me that morning that you planned to eventually marry a woman—to cast me aside—and I was hurt.” “And he made you feel wanted,” Eryx whispered. I nodded. “I find it difficult to be angry with him now.” He lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling. “You were in a fragile state and he took care of you when I did not… when I was blinded by future responsibilities and hurt you. Made you believe I no longer wanted you.” His green-eyed gaze shifted back to me, and they glistened with unshed tears. “It is no surprise he fell for you too. You are everything that is beautiful and right in this world. I do not deserve you.”

“The warrior with the golden hair is your lover?” he asked in a voice so quiet, I had to strain to hear him. I nodded. “I see how carefully he watches over you… as if you are his reason for existing.” With a shaking hand, he reached to touch my cheek. “Such beauty. I am happy you are with me. You captured my heart so long ago, and it is still yours to this day.”

“If I die, do not allow Zeus to turn me into a star,” I spoke, grinning despite the gaping wound in my heart. “But you love the stars.” Eryx kissed my temple before nuzzling his nose along the edge of my brow. I grinned. “Well, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad. To live in the sky and have such beauty around me. But only if you are there too.”

“Do not ever leave me, Ax,” he said, gripping the side of my neck and pressing his forehead to mine, still moving inside of me. “By the gods, I could not bear it. My whole world is right here in my hands. Without you, I am nothing.”

“Do you remember the morning after we had made love for the first time?” he softly asked. “You asked me to run away with you. To leave duty behind and create a life together away from Sparta. Away from the bloodshed. I told you no.” He shifted his gaze to me, staring regretfully into my eyes. “Why didn’t I listen to you?”

“Now that we are men and have chosen our path… do you ever regret it?” I asked, not looking away from him. At his confusion, I knew my question had been too vague. “Do you wish you would’ve married and had children?” Do you regret choosing me? “No,” he answered without a moment’s contemplation, staring back at me with the kindest expression gleaming in his eyes and touching his hand to mine. “To wish such a thing would mean I regret my years with you, and that is a thing I will never do, Axios. There is no greater happiness than having you by my side.”

We awoke at dawn and ate a small meal before grabbing our things and walking toward the door. Before I stepped outside, I turned and studied the room: the window I enjoyed looking out of, the cushion we’d laid on many a nights and made love, and the tiny wooden sculpture of a bird on the table Leonidas had made for me years ago. It looked more like a deformed fish than a bird, but I treasured it. Our house wasn’t big, but it was one of my favorite places in the world. “Axios, we need to leave.” I nodded and shut the door, leaving the home we’d built together behind me.

“Where do you hear such stories?” Haden asked before shoving the rest of his food in his mouth and noisily chewing. Eryx sat quiet a moment before answering, “My father. I used to have difficulty falling asleep at night, so he told me stories before bed.” Out of all the years he had told me stories, I had never asked him how he came to know them. I had assumed he’d heard them around Sparta from the merchants who traveled in and out of the city. Sadness swirled within me, and I ached to reach and touch my lover, but refrained from doing so. Eryx held onto the stories his father had told him, the same father who had abandoned his men at battle and then killed himself from the shame of it. The father he swore to never become. And yet, it was evident he had loved him.

Conversation continued around us, but we still locked gazes, as if we were frozen in a moment and the rest of the men faded away. When we lay down later on, he instantly pulled me against him. No words were spoken. His lips found mine and his hands explored my body, caressing the hard ridges of my muscled stomach and traveling lower. Soft moans turned to gasps. Kisses deepened and became more desperate, as if it were our first time. Or our last.

“You and Haden take him back to camp,” he said at last. I deflected an enemy strike and plunged my sword through their throat. “No!” I snarled, angry he’d even suggest such a thing. “I swore to you I’d not leave your side, remember?” “Ax…” He shook his head and peered at me through his helmet. Desperation blazed in his eyes. “Please do as I say.” He already believed the battle to be lost and wished to spare me. “No. I will not leave you,” I spoke, shaking my head. “If we are to die, we do so together. You have always been by my side, and that is how it will forever be.” Until the end.

“Do not argue with me,” Eryx growled, stepping toward Haden and glaring up at him. “I am your leader and you will do as I say. Save the king. That’s an order.” “Eryx…” Haden shook his head, pleading with his eyes. “Do not ask this of me. Please.” “I am not asking. Save the king,” Eryx repeated in a softer tone. “And return home to your family.” It was then I knew what Eryx had done. He knew Haden would never retreat from battle again, but Haden would also never refuse a direct command from his superior. This is the only way to save him.

“If you do not go now, it will be too late,” I spoke with a sudden urgency. “Tell Leanna and Leonidas I love them. And when Icarius is old enough to speak and begins to question the world around him…” My eyes watered as I realized I’d not be around to see that day. “Do not dismiss his dreams and curiosities. Let his imagination run free and do not try to beat him into what they want us to be.”

“Nikias had said that every man at Thermopylae had the chance to run before the battle, that the king had dismissed the army. Some men had taken the opportunity to escape, but many stayed behind. He’d asked us why we thought that was. And I finally know why.” I stood as close to him as I could as we faced the swarm of Thebans. “Loyalty. Brotherhood. And love.”

We looked on before us, knowing it was our final battle. Our final moments. There was still so much I had to tell him, and yet, I knew not what to say. His hand touched mine, just like it had always done in the past. A sign that he was with me. “Ax,” he whispered, meeting my eyes once more. It was a wonder I even heard him through all the surrounding noise, but I had. “In all the ages, there has never been a love like ours. No one has ever loved another as I have loved you. If we fall today, my soul will find yours. For I am eternally yours… in this life and the next.”

“Do not be afraid,” he said, brushing my hair from my face and staring into my eyes as if I was the sun and he was the plant needing my light. “Death is not the end.” My words from long ago drifted through my mind. “I do not fear death because I’m afraid of dying, Ery…” I had told him. “I fear it because it would take me from you.” More soldiers surrounded us. “Ery, you have to fight,” I said through harsh wheezes. “Leave me and go.” I was incapable of moving, but that did not mean he had to stay and meet the same fate. “No.” His green eyes held my gaze before he pulled me against his chest, his heart beating against mine. “I will not leave you.” As he held me, he was stabbed in the back. He barely even winced. But when another plunged into his shoulder, he gasped and held me tighter. His arms wrapped around me like a protective cloak as he shielded me from further injury, taking the damage upon himself. Another sword was forced into his back and went all the way through him, piercing me as well. I whimpered at the intense pain and the agony of him being harmed. And then I closed my eyes. My head lolled to the side, resting in the crease of his neck, and my breaths started to slow. “What makes up the stars?” I had once asked him in a time that seemed like a different life. A happier one. “The stars are heroes, men who died and are now commemorated for their bravery in battle,” he had answered, smiling. Eryx stopped breathing and slumped against me.

The years with him flashed before my eyes. The golden-haired boy who had taught me so much about myself. The one who had my heart and always would. I recalled his face: the flush in his cheeks when we’d made love, the way his green eyes sparked with determination one moment and with love in the next, and the small smile that lingered in the corner of his mouth when he tried to hide his amusement at me but failed. I had spent years memorizing every detail of him, storing his face to memory, and I finally knew why. It was to prepare for that moment. I’ll see you in the stars, my warrior, I silently told him, feeling myself slip away. And then I fell into the dark abyss, hoping he waited for me there.

“Tell me the story again, Father,” he said as his face lit up like the sun. “The story of Uncle Axios and Eryx.” “Ah, where to begin?” I sat on the grass and motioned for him to do the same. He plopped down beside me and waited quietly—but not patiently—for me to continue. “It is difficult to put into words the way they altered the course of my life. Eryx with his keen mind, and Axios with his kind heart. They each had what the other lacked, and together, they were whole. Their friendship made me a better man.” My gaze dropped to their shared grave, and I placed a hand upon the earth, closing my eyes as I recalled their faces. “Do you believe they are in the Elysian Fields?” Icarius asked. I looked at him—observing his curious nature and remembering the words Axios had spoken, a request to allow Icarius to remain true to himself. I would not want him any other way. “No, son,” I spoke, shaking my head and peering up at the sky. The sun shone right then, but in a matter of hours, it would sink below the horizon and breathe life into the night. “They are in the stars.”