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June 6 - June 7, 2023
“I’m not keeping him from anything,” I contended, even though we both understood the shaky veracity of that claim. “Just because I changed the code for the gate and called and had his name removed as an authorized person with the security company doesn’t really mean that much. If he was really about that action, he would figure it out.”
“Sweetheart… you were always the best thing that happened to that man. Anyone would have been lucky to be able to claim you as theirs, and now he has lost that opportunity. Trust me, my love. He will see you whole and happy without him, and it will tear him up inside.”
“You can’t make a person be faithful by doing things for them, and not doing things for them isn’t gonna make them step out. There’s one reason – because they wanted to. And that’s about them. Not you.”
Something about liquor not creating urges, only amplifying existing ones, kept coming to mind.
“So, let me run this down,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even, and at least appear calm, though I definitely wasn’t. “You are cutting my salary by an “insignificant” thirty-thousand dollars to pay a grossly inexperienced white man to replace my cohost, so that you can increase the “diversity” of a network founded on principles of giving a platform to, and showcasing Black talents and excellence. Do I understand that correctly?”
She shrugged. “Like I said – pulling another sister up is never a problem.” “Let’s toast to that,” Ashley said, approaching with a freshly uncorked wine bottle.
“Hey,” I said, and she looked up, meeting my eyes in the mirror over the sink. “We should go to dinner. Not like our usual… hit up the sushi spot or whatever, but like… a real dinner. Me in a tie, you in heels.”
She smiled. “It sounds like a date.”
“So…” her eyes narrowed. “…you want me to suck your dick, Ramsey? Is that what you’re saying?” “No! I mean… yea—goddamn it, why are you doing this?” I asked, suddenly feeling hot as fuck in the confined space of the closet.
“Nothing,” he grinned. “But after that… I’m giving you enough dick to pay for my half of this trip to Bali.”
Every time I was around him now, I felt… tingly, and ready, just waiting for him to touch me, or taste me, or take me – a feeling I’d long lost with Darius.
I missed two terms of a Black president, only to come out to a fucking orange one.”
You ain’t gotta keep looking for your why. It’s looking you right in the face.” I needed that.
“I could knock you upside the head, girl. Do you really look at your life and only see the things that aren’t as you planned, instead of the things that are as you wanted? You wanted your own show – you have it. You wanted a man that really loved you – you have it. You wanted a baby – you’re going to have it. You are blessed, my dear. Focus on that.”
A man can say anything, but his actions tell the real story.”

