iGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood--and What That Means for the Rest of Us

by Jean M. Twenge

“I would rather be on my phone in my room watching Netflix than spending time with my family. That’s what I’ve been doing most of the summer. I’ve been on my phone more than I’ve been with actual people.” That’s just the way her generation is, she says. “We didn’t have a choice to know any life without iPads or iPhones. I think we like our phones more than we like actual people.”

They socialize in completely new ways, reject once sacred social taboos, and want different things from their lives and careers. They are obsessed with safety and fearful of their economic futures, and they have no patience for inequality based on gender, race, or sexual orientation. They are at the forefront of the worst mental health crisis in decades, with rates of teen depression and suicide skyrocketing since 2011. Contrary to the prevalent idea that children are growing up faster than previous generations did, iGen’ers are growing up more slowly: 18-year-olds now act like 15-year-olds used to, and 13-year-olds like 10-year-olds. Teens are physically safer than ever, yet they are more mentally vulnerable.

Using the birth years 1995 to 2012, iGen includes 74 million Americans, about 24% of the population. That means one in four Americans is a member of iGen—all the more reason to understand them. iGen is the most ethnically diverse generation in American history: one in four is Hispanic, and nearly 5% are multiracial. Non-Hispanic whites are a bare majority, at 53%. The birth years at the end of iGen are the first to have a nonwhite majority: beginning with the iGen’ers born in late 2009, less than 50% are non-Hispanic whites. That means no one group is in the majority, practically the definition of diversity. The generation after iGen—those born in 2013 and later—will be the first majority nonwhite generation.

These are the Boomers, raised in a time when their parents were happy for them to leave the house and economic success didn’t require a graduate degree.

our current culture in the United States, when the average family has two children, kids can start playing organized sports at 3, and preparing for college seems to begin in elementary school. Compare that to a fast life strategy, where families are larger and parents focus on subsistence rather than quality. This fast life strategy involves less preparation for the future and more focus on just getting through the day.

Childhood has lengthened, with teens treated more like children, less independent and more protected by parents than they once were. The entire developmental trajectory, from childhood to adolescence to adulthood, has slowed. Adolescence—the time when teens begin to do things adults do—now happens later. Thirteen-year-olds—and even 18-year-olds—are less likely to act like adults and spend their time like adults. They are more likely, instead, to act like children—not by being immature, necessarily, but by postponing the usual activities of adults. Adolescence is now an extension of childhood rather than the beginning of adulthood.

well-publicized studies of brain development have shown that the frontal cortex, the brain area responsible for judgment and decision making, does not complete its development until age 25. This has spawned the idea that teens are not quite ready to grow up and thus need more protection for a longer time. These findings about underdeveloped teen brains have generated numerous books, articles, and online parenting advice. Interestingly, the interpretation of these studies seems to ignore a fundamental truth of brain research: that the brain changes based on experience. Maybe today’s teens and young adults have an underdeveloped frontal cortex because they have not been given adult responsibilities. If brain scanners existed in 1950, I wonder what they would have shown of a generation that usually started work at 18, married at 21, and had children soon after. That interpretation of such studies is never offered, however, leaving parents believing that their teen and young adult children are biologically programmed to make poor choices.

Recent years have seen a boom in products such as “adult coloring books” that invite full-grown humans to color with crayons like elementary schoolers, touting the activity as “relaxing.” A 2016 article in Adweek noted that brands are tapping “into millennials’ anxiety about growing up.” When I interviewed Josie, a 17-year-old high school senior in the midst of applying to college, I asked her what her favorite movies were. Her answer? Tangled and Frozen—both children’s movies by Disney.

The decline in reading creates some distinct challenges for a wide swath of concerned elders, including parents, educators, and publishing companies. For example, how are students who rarely read books going to digest an eight-hundred-page college textbook? Most faculty report that their students simply don’t read the textbook, even if it’s required. Many publishers are moving toward more interactive ebooks to try to keep students engaged. As a university faculty member and the author or coauthor of three college textbooks, I think this needs to go even further. iGen’ers need textbooks that include interactive activities such as video sharing and questionnaires, but they also need books that are shorter in length and more conversational in their writing style. They are coming to college with much less experience reading, so we have to meet them where they are, while still teaching them what they need to know. That might mean leaving behind some detail, but that’s better than students’ not cracking the book at all.

If you were going to give advice for a happy life based on this graph, it would be straightforward: put down the phone, turn off the computer or iPad, and do something—anything—that does not involve a screen.

Another study of adults found the same thing: the more people used Facebook, the lower their mental health and life satisfaction at the next assessment. But after they interacted with their friends in person, their mental health and life satisfaction improved.

teens who spend more time on screens are more likely to be depressed, and those who spend more time on nonscreen activities are less likely to be depressed (see Figure 3.8). Eighth graders who are heavy users of social media increase their risk of depression by 27%, while those who play sports, go to religious services, or even do homework cut their risk significantly. The teens who are the most active on social media are also those who are most in danger of developing depression, a mental health issue that devastates millions of US teens each year.

their effects on mental health seem to be strongest for the youngest teens, social media can inflame anxiety among those who are susceptible, and those who truly crave the “hit” of likes are often those who are the most vulnerable to mental health issues.

teens who spend more than three hours a day on electronic devices are 35% more likely to have at least one suicide risk factor

teens has declined, but the suicide rate has increased. The steady decline in teen homicide from 2007 to 2014 looks very similar to the decline in in-person social interaction

To put it bluntly: teens have to be with each other in person to kill each other, but they can cyberbully each other into suicide through their phones.

One study found that college students who used Facebook more often were more depressed—but only if they felt more envy toward others.

experiments that randomly assign people to experience more or less screen time and those that track behavior over time have both found that more screen time causes more anxiety, depression, loneliness, and less emotional connection. It seems clear that at least some of the sudden and large increase in depression has been caused by teens spending more time with screens.

Lack of sleep can have serious consequences. Sleep deprivation is linked to myriad issues, including compromised thinking and reasoning, susceptibility to illness, increased weight gain, and high blood pressure. Sleep deprivation also has a significant effect on mood: people who don’t sleep enough are prone to depression and anxiety.

So smartphones could be causing lack of sleep, which leads to depression, or the phones could be causing depression, which leads to lack of sleep. It’s all rooted in the allure of the phone: when the phone calls its siren song, teens crash into the rocks instead of crashing into their beds.

The counselor told him she couldn’t get him an appointment for several more days. Soon afterward, he killed himself. Caltech disputed that account, maintaining that Brian had denied that he continued to have suicidal feelings. Nevertheless, the case highlights a nationwide problem: the often inadequate resources for mental health assistance on college campuses. Waiting lists for appointments with therapists can be long, and budget cuts have meant fewer staff to minister to more students seeking help.

assuming that he and other iGen’ers like him keep their faith, they will usher in a new, more tolerant era of Christian belief that steps away from what people should not do to focus on what they should do.

For example, half of 13- to 17-year-olds want to pursue a science-related career. Yet only 1% of youth pastors say they have addressed any subject related to science in the last year.

many Millennials and iGen’ers distrust religion because they believe it promotes antigay attitudes. More young people now associate religion with rigidity and intolerance—an automatic anathema to a highly individualistic and accepting generation.

David Kinnaman’s book unChristian reported that four out of ten young people outside Christianity have a “bad impression” of the religion. Why? As Kinnaman put it, “We have become famous for what we oppose, rather than who we are for.”

God’s word should foster happiness and faith. Not self-loathing and hopelessness.”

“Young adults want answers about life and about who we are, why this even matters, what we can do. Instead we get told just to pray or a handout worksheet about Bible verses.” Vanessa, 21, echoes this thought: “The church should make things more interactive to keep people actively thinking instead of just listening to someone speaking at them.”

Compare to attitudes about school

Will any religions survive? Evangelical churches have not lost as many members over the last few decades as other Christian denominations have. That might be because they’ve recognized that iGen’ers and Millennials want religion to complete them—to strengthen their relationships and give them a sense of purpose. Some of those churches will begin to loosen their views on premarital sex, same-sex marriage, and transgender individuals as their acceptance becomes more mainstream, even among religious people.

Evangelical is showmanship and designed to be attractive and modern.

Teens just don’t want to take chances anymore—so they stay at home, drive carefully, and use only substances in amounts they think are safe—or don’t use them . . . because it’s better to be safe.

“Yesterday’s student activists wanted to be treated like adults. Today’s want to be treated like children.”

The embrace of safety and protection now extends to course readings, which must be sanitized to remove anything that might offend someone. In his piece “I’m a Liberal Professor, and My Liberal Students Terrify Me,” Edward Schlosser noted that many faculty members have changed their syllabi for fear of being fired if students complain about offensive material in the course readings. One adjunct professor, he noted, was let go when “students complained that he exposed them to ‘offensive’ texts written by Edward Said and Mark Twain. His response, that the texts were meant to be a little upsetting, only fueled the students’ ire and sealed his fate.” The focus, he says, is now on students’ emotional state rather than on their intellectual development, sacrificing challenging discussions for the possibility that a student might feel upset.

In 2016, the number one Billboard song of the year was “Stitches” by 18-year-old iGen’er Shawn Mendes. “Your words cut deeper than a knife,” he sings. “I’ll be needing stitches.” The music video features Mendes being attacked by an invisible force that throws him to the ground, smashes his head into a car window, and pushes him through a wall, leaving visible bruises and cuts on his face. After he washes his face and stands up to look in the mirror again, the injuries are gone. Although on the surface the song is about a breakup, it can also be seen as an iGen metaphor for the cutting power of words—the pain that is mental rather than physical but (in iGen’ers’ view) hurts just as much, even if it doesn’t leave physical scars. With iGen’ers already mentally vulnerable due to higher levels of depression, words feel harmful.

The difficulty, according to iGen’ers, is that it’s harder to protect your mind than your body. “I believe nobody can guarantee emotional safety. You can always take precautions for someone hurting you physically, but you cannot really help but listen when someone is talking to you,” said Aiden, 19. This is a fascinating, perhaps distinctively iGen idea: the world is an inherently dangerous place because every social interaction carries the risk of being hurt. You never know what someone is going to say, and there’s no way to protect yourself from it.

the United States has shifted from a culture of honor, in which people respond to a perceived slight themselves, to a culture of victimization, in which people avoid direct confrontation and instead appeal to third parties and/or public shaming to address conflict.

It always bothers me when Boomers and GenX’ers observe about car seats and seat belts, “We didn’t have any of that, and we survived.” Sure, you did, but those who didn’t are no longer with us to wax nostalgic about the days when they rolled around in the back of the station wagon.

Generally, people overcome fears by confronting them, not by hiding from them. For example, the most effective treatment for phobias is having the phobic person work up to confronting her worst fear. When nothing bad happens, the fear lessens and then disappears. Without such experiences, the fear remains—and that might be iGen’s story, too.

Their caution helps keep them safe, but it also makes them vulnerable, because everyone gets hurt eventually. Not all risks can be eliminated all the time, especially for a generation that believes someone disagreeing with you constitutes emotional injury.

The results are unequivocal: teens who spend more time on social media are more likely to value individualistic attitudes and less likely to value community involvement. Heavy users of social media are 45% more likely to believe it’s important to own expensive material things such as new cars and vacation homes, and they are 14% less likely to say they think about the social issues affecting the nation and the world (see Figure 6.13). Overall, teens who use social media more are less engaged with larger social issues.

Advertisers should also move away from appeals based on group conformity and instead emphasize what a product can do for the individual—its convenience, its safety features, the experience it provides. iGen’ers may also turn out to be less enamored with celebrity and fame than Millennials were.

Nevertheless, infection rates for STDs fell among teens beginning in 2012—the only age group that saw declines (see Appendix H). Fewer teens having sex equals fewer with STDs.

If you’re not a looker, you’ll get swiped left on Tinder even if you can reliably charm potential partners on the next bar stool. With fewer people on those bar stools—and those who are there looking at Tinder on their phones instead of the person next to them—a large group of people gets left out of the sexual scene.

“All I know is catching a rare Pokemon is far more satisfying to me than chatting to uninteresting men on a dating app.”

There’s another possible reason for the decline in sexual activity that at first seems paradoxical: the easy accessibility of pornography online. As the musical Avenue Q charmingly put it, “The Internet Is for Porn.”

For most people, porn likely doesn’t decrease sexual activity. But there appears to be a measureable segment of people for whom porn is enough and real sex seems unnescessary. Why risk rejection, sexually transmitted diseases, relationship arguments, or having to meet up with someone when you can watch porn in the privacy of your own bedroom and do things your way?

Even if they go well, relationships are stressful, iGen’ers say. “When you’re in a relationship, their problem is your problem, too,” says Mark. “So not only do you have your set of problems, but if they’re having a bad day, they’re kind of taking it out on you. The stress alone is ridiculous.”

Two recent books on college hookup culture both concluded that alcohol is considered nearly mandatory before having sex with someone for the first time.

“It might all come down to soup. If you have a cold, a fuck buddy isn’t going to bring you soup. And a boyfriend is going to make you homemade soup. A dating partner? They’re totally going to drop off a can of soup. But only if they don’t already have any plans.”

iGen’ers didn’t want to choose between diversity being “acceptable” or “desirable” because they saw the whole question as ridiculous.

Howard Gillman and Erwin Chemerinsky taught a college freshman seminar on freedom of speech, they were shocked by how often the students favored restricting speech protected by the First Amendment. It was a generational shift, they realized: the students had witnessed the harm of hateful speech but not the harm of censorship or punishment of dissent.

“What haunts me are the frequent, small actions that remind me I don’t belong, that people look at me and see a black person before they see someone who’s just a person,” wrote Princess Ojiaku, a University of Wisconsin graduate student. “These reminders build into an invisible weight I carry. . . . They are the small and constant confirmations of your fear that people see you as a caricature rather than as an individual.”