Candide

by Voltaire

“Candide” never bored anybody except William Wordsworth.

My enemy's enemy is my friend.

Observe, that the nose has been formed to bear spectacles—thus we have spectacles. Legs are visibly designed for stockings—and we have stockings. Stones were made to be hewn, and to construct castles—therefore my lord has a magnificent castle;

The bayonet was also a sufficient reason for the death of several thousands.

This ridiculous foible is perhaps one of our most fatal characteristics; for is there anything more absurd than to wish to carry continually a burden which one can always throw down? to detest existence and yet to cling to one’s existence? in brief, to caress the serpent which devours us, till he has eaten our very heart?

I am the best-natured creature in the world, and yet I have already killed three men, and of these three two were priests.”

Why should you think it so strange that in some countries there are monkeys which insinuate themselves into the good graces of the ladies; they are a fourth part human, as I am a fourth part Spaniard.”

“But for what end, then, has this world been formed?” said Candide. “To plague us to death,” answered Martin.

when I found that he doubted of everything, I concluded that I knew as much as he, and that I had no need of a guide to learn ignorance.”