Pillow Thoughts

by Courtney Peppernell

You became lost sometimes You could be a little unsure You tried very hard But sometimes it didn’t feel like enough. I hate to spoil the ending

And if you let me, I’ll show you every day. I promise.

I have been a little off balance since the day I met you. This is because I had never known what it is like to be perfectly aligned.

I think if you let me, I’d build an observatory just to show you that all the stars in the universe will never shine as brightly as you.

No one dares to peel back all the layers of your skin All this damage, you’re a mess. Are you ready Are you ready Because I want your damaged skin.

But the world goes on even when lovers go their separate ways. So I will carry on in the hopes I’ll find another lover someday.

But the sun destroys all that it touches; At least this is what they say.

Life is too short for games unless it’s a game of cards. Don’t text back right away; if you like them, pretend you don’t; and don’t you dare say I love you first. Well screw all that. I will text you back in three seconds; I will tell you that I like you; and if I love you, I’ll tell you every chance I get. Life is unpredictable, and I’d rather play every card as honestly as I can than have a deck full of regrets and what-ifs.

Often I wonder what it may take for someone’s heart to grow cold and I think perhaps the reason is because their heart was left out in the rain. And so on rainy days I struggle because I still don’t know how to convince you that I will be outside ...

We don’t speak with words. We speak with a gentle brushing of shoulders, a look across the room, a door opened, a smile as we pass each other, a racing heart as I see you coming up the driveway. There is power in silence, and while we don’t say a word, we both know we only want each other.

have flown around the world and met no one like you because you are all the things I keep coming back to.

Love is not always roses, honey, and tea. Sometimes it is difficult being you, and sometimes it is difficult being me. And in the night if we are restless and our love struggles to make sense, know that I will fight for us. Because I love you, and I know that you love me.

They say don’t fall in love with writers because their poems are messy and their letters are empty words dressed up to look pretty. But I say fall in love with me because underneath the mess and in between the lines is ...

Because my lips want to know all the places you have been hurt So they can make all the pain drift away

And in this house I’d place my faith Knowing I’d finally Found a home

the way they reach for you and they find you through the dark even if their eyes are closed.

If you are in love and the love is returned, be grateful. Because if you take love for granted, it will be overturned.

And you looked at me and I lost track of everything.

you’d be an adventure of sadness and happiness and love lost in between.

You would always be the novel I took down from the shelf to read.

Of all the maps in the world, the only one I will follow is the map to your heart.

Fall in love when a lover stares at you for five hours. Fall in love with the stars when they look at you. Fall in love with the sound of someone breathing. Fall in love with the bus if it’s on time or the train if it comes early. Fall in love with everything possible.

Love makes us both happy and sad, and there is not a soul alive that has been able to understand why.

You remind me that my heart is still alive Because every time you come home it beats so hard it brings me back to life

hope you find someone who reminds you that you deserve the love you give.

But you carved yourself into my veins whether you meant to or not. And sometimes I wonder if you remember the way we looked at each other or maybe you just forgot.

Perhaps it’s just easier to smile and pretend everything is fine, rather than admit my heart’s a little swollen from losing something that wasn’t even mine.

And so I loved a broken girl more than anything; I just didn’t realize she would break me too.

Thinking maybe you might leave and praying that you won’t.

This heart of mine has been broken before, but this emptiness has never left me quite as sore.

I can’t return every time I held you or unwrite every love letter I wrote you. I can’t undo every time I touched you or unhear the way you said my name. I can’t send back every “You’re beautiful” because things will never be the same. What am I going to do with all these things if I can never pack them away?

I’m caught somewhere between moving on and holding on and not knowing which one I can handle best.

Where do I go when a lover and a friend becomes a memory and a dead end? I saw her by

You are a ghost, a shadow, only a memory. So much that you wonder if you even existed to them at all.

You spend your whole life convincing yourself you are a chapter worth following, and then someone comes along and doesn’t want to read the ending, and suddenly the whole story falls apart.

That’s what happens when your heart breaks you tell yourself no one will ever be allowed inside again but then someone comes along with light in their eyes and s...

When the stars ask you what it is you want, why do you speak of a love that tears you apart? Why do you crave a love that will break your heart? Your soul is never beyond repair, so stay humble and be kind and eventually ...

So when you broke my heart, I decided to be selfish too. Selfish in the way I stopped Making everything about you.

When you are wounded, sometimes it’s best to retreat and heal. But do not stay hidden for too long, because all wounds need air.

But one day I hope you see the love you give yourself heals all parts eventually. Until finally she walks in and sets your heart free and reminds you why everyone else wasn’t meant to be.

There is no rule book on how to cope when these things end.

That’s the thing about moving on. You are never going to find a love quite like the one before. The key is to stop wanting the same things and embrace the things to come.

she’s the type of girl that has a place in her heart for all the lonely people to go with their forgotten footprints in the snow

But night does happen, so recharge and be ready to rise again in the morning.

because others are reckless with their hearts and forget to be kind

sometimes it’s about what runs in your heart instead and if there’s anything I know about the things inside your heart it’s that they are beautiful things and strong things and things that will always be okay

There is happiness in this lifetime one day these troubles will fade all your strength is in the skyline no matter how heavy your heart weighs. And some days it seems hope and despair take turns but despite all our sadness the sun always returns.

But that feeling you Want back The one where it doesn’t seem Like the whole world is against You It’s still here It never really left And one day you will realize That the only person Who can find it again Is you

And time they say will heal you but even my own mother doesn’t know what to do. You said you wouldn’t hurt me You promised to keep me safe You knew what the others had done and I fell for the sincerity in your face. Maybe I deserved this for trusting someone who could manipulate so easily.

Is that why you play the music so loud? A beat to drown out the thoughts, sound so high you cannot think, lyrics so close to home you don’t even blink.

gut me ig