Pillow Thoughts

by Courtney Peppernell

I have been a little off balance since the day I met you. This is because I had never known what it is like to be perfectly aligned.

Life is too short for games unless it’s a game of cards. Don’t text back right away; if you like them, pretend you don’t; and don’t you dare say I love you first. Well screw all that. I will text you back in three seconds; I will tell you that I like you; and if I love you, I’ll tell you every chance I get. Life is unpredictable, and I’d rather play every card as honestly as I can than have a deck full of regrets and what-ifs.

We don’t speak with words. We speak with a gentle brushing of shoulders, a look across the room, a door opened, a smile as we pass each other, a racing heart as I see you coming up the driveway. There is power in silence, and while we don’t say a word, we both know we only want each other.

And if the moon could talk I wonder if he would tell the night Just how lovely she is With all those stars shining bright

My therapist asked, “How do you prepare for the day?” And I replied, “I count my lies, find my mask, and pretend it isn’t easier to fly away.”

I know there isn’t a thing I could say to make the thoughts in your head any easier but I hope you know that above all the things running through your head sometimes it’s about what runs in your heart instead and if there’s anything I know about the things inside your heart it’s that they are beautiful things and strong things and things that will always be okay and if the things in your head seem a little messy and the things in your heart weigh a little heavy just know that you’ll beat all of these things and I’ll always love you even with all your things

There are little pieces of happiness and they are scattered through your day. So take a basket with you as you step outside, fill it up with all the little pieces, and bring it back inside. Take a moment, just by yourself, take out all of the pieces, and place them on your shelf.

I hope you know you are loved. I hope things get simpler for you, peaceful. Spend your days with easy breaths and soft words. You deserve light through your windowsill. I hope it comes your way soon.

You are a battlefield. Never will there be a greater war than the one you hold with yourself.

You’ve become so damaged That when someone Wants to give you What you deserve You have no idea How to respond

We are all born with softness, and it’s important to grow into it. Do not let the world turn your heart cold.

You will always be a lot of things. Not everyone is going to like you or understand you. And in the times it feels like you are on trial, Try to treat others with good intentions, Even the ones that don’t deserve it. Be you, even when it’s hard.