Pillow Thoughts

by Courtney Peppernell

We should kiss. Not because you passed my way by chance but because you stopped and I haven’t been the same since.

You’re covered in all these broken promises from people who said they would never leave. Sometimes afraid of your own skin and the scars that run deep in your veins. Are you ready Are you ready for someone who could turn you inside out? No one dares to peel back all the layers of your skin All this damage, you’re a mess. Are you ready Are you ready Because I want your damaged skin. This is me. I am the eye of the storm and my heart is a little broken. But if you want me, I’m yours.

Life is too short for games unless it’s a game of cards. Don’t text back right away; if you like them, pretend you don’t; and don’t you dare say I love you first. Well screw all that. I will text you back in three seconds; I will tell you that I like you; and if I love you, I’ll tell you every chance I get. Life is unpredictable, and I’d rather play every card as honestly as I can than have a deck full of regrets and what-ifs.

this is me.

They say don’t fall in love with writers because their poems are messy and their letters are empty words dressed up to look pretty. But I say fall in love with me because underneath the mess and in between the lines is a heart too full of love that would follow you to any city. Darling, kiss me like you need to feel safe Because my lips want to know all the places you have been hurt So they can make all the pain drift away

Of all the maps in the world, the only one I will follow is the map to your heart.

okay, that is just rizz.😭

It’s the last day of the year and I still lose myself in good books and warm tea, those quiet nights and writing your name on my windshield.

I hope you find someone who reminds you that you deserve the love you give.

Perhaps it’s just easier to smile and pretend everything is fine, rather than admit my heart’s a little swollen from losing something that wasn’t even mine.

And I count all the days you say I love you and I die on the days you don’t. Thinking maybe you might leave and praying that you won’t.

Where do I go when a lover and a friend becomes a memory and a dead end?

You spend your whole life convincing yourself you are a chapter worth following, and then someone comes along and doesn’t want to read the ending, and suddenly the whole story falls apart.

When the stars ask you what it is you want, why do you speak of a love that tears you apart? Why do you crave a love that will break your heart? Your soul is never beyond repair, so stay humble and be kind and eventually a love will come along and remind you of why you are alive.