Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Parts One and Two: The Official Playscript of the Original West End Production

by John Tiffany

Albus Severus, you were named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew.

<3

The what? The where? Look, I am as excited as you are to be a rebel for the first time in my life — yay — train roof — fun — but now — oh.

Omg they're doing some Gryffindor shenanigans lol

HARRY: Getting old? Thanks, mate. RON: Honestly, every time I sit down now I make an “ooof” noise. An “ooof.” And my feet — the trouble I’m having with my feet — I could write songs about the pain my feet give me — maybe your scar is like that.

Omg because fucking same.

HARRY: I thought for a long time I wasn’t a good enough dad for you because you didn’t like me. It’s only now I realize that I don’t need you to like me, I need you to obey me because I’m your dad and I do know better. I’m sorry, Albus. It has to be this way.

WHAT THE FUCK HARRY. THIS IS NOT THE WAY!!

Tom Riddle didn’t emerge from his dark place. And so Tom Riddle became Lord Voldemort. Maybe the black cloud Bane saw was Albus’s loneliness. His pain. His hatred. Don’t lose the boy. You’ll regret it. And so will he.

Because I don’t think Voldemort is capable of having a kind son — and you’re kind, Scorpius. To the depths of your belly, to the tips of your fingers. I truly believe Voldemort — Voldemort couldn’t have a child like you.

<3

But then again, I always did have a soft spot for the Potters. And I was moderately partial to a Malfoy too. Now how can I help you pair?

Lol Myrtle... We love a Malfoy.

DOLORES UMBRIDGE: Miss? I’m Professor Umbridge, the headmistress of your school, I’m no “Miss.”

Oh no. Fuck her.

I can’t work out what he did in the Battle of Hogwarts — whether he killed someone or — but he did something and it changed everything. SNAPE: Cedric Diggory killed only one wizard and not a significant one — Neville Longbottom.

Not Neville!!!

SCORPIUS: Thank you for being my light in the darkness. SNAPE looks at him, every inch a hero, he softly smiles. SNAPE: Tell Albus — tell Albus Severus — I’m proud he carries my name. Now go. Go.

it is exceptionally lonely, being Draco Malfoy. I will always be suspected. There is no escaping the past.

</3

DRACO: Hermione Granger, I’m being bossed around by Hermione Granger. (She turns towards him. He smiles.) And I’m mildly enjoying it.

Ahhhhhhh Dramoine moment!!

DELPHI: I am from the future. The child of Bellatrix Lestrange and you. I was born in Malfoy Manor before the Battle of Hogwarts. A battle you are going to lose. I have come to save you.

STFU.