Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Parts One and Two: The Official Playscript of the Original West End Production

by John Tiffany

And suddenly a flying lesson is happening with MADAM HOOCH.

woah she's still teaching at hogwarts...?

HARRY (amused): Second-years don’t like to be seen with their dads, is that it?

wow it's already second year...that was fast

HARRY (seeing red): Well, there are times I wish you weren’t my son.

ok now THIS doesn't sound like harry...like at all

ALBUS: But . . . you’re married to Hermione. Beat. RON doesn’t understand this at all. RON: Hermione. No. Nooooo. Merlin’s beard.

what the heck is going on...

HERMIONE: Professor Granger I believe is my name, Potter. ALBUS: What are you doing here?

ok this gets even more confusing

The two square up. And then release their wands. DRACO and HARRY: Expelliarmus! Their wands repel and then break apart.

well draco and harry are fighting again

DOLORES UMBRIDGE: Miss? I’m Professor Umbridge, the headmistress of your school, I’m no “Miss.”

ew not umbridge

SCORPIUS: How did Cedric become a Death Eater? What have I missed? Find me some — light in the darkness.

that's it. this book is NOT canon. cedric would NEVER become a death eater.

SNAPE: Cedric Diggory killed only one wizard and not a significant one — Neville Longbottom.

huh????? there's no way that cedric would do ANY of this.

Cedric was a different person entirely — dark, dangerous.

that doesn't sound like cedric at all...i refuse to accept that this book is canon.

SCORPIUS: Humiliating Cedric turned him into a very angry young man, and then he became a Death Eater and — and — it all went wrong. Really wrong.

cedric did not become a death eater and anyways this book is terrible in many ways. end of story.

two, written on the ceiling, a proclamation — that the Dark Lord had a — that Voldemort had a child.

i still cannot comprehend that voldemort has a child. yup this book cannot be canon.

HARRY: Go. Leave. I don’t want you here, I don’t need you. You were absent every time it really counted. I fought him three times without you. I’ll face him again, if needs be — alone.

please this doesn't sound like the harry that literally looked up to dumbledore so much, yup no.

DRACO: Hermione Granger, I’m being bossed around by Hermione Granger. (She turns towards him. He smiles.) And I’m mildly enjoying it.

this will get dramione shippers hopes up for no reason at all