Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely

by Lysa TerKeurst

Love is full. And I was quite empty. I should have been happy. I knew it. I could have listed out so many things for which I was thankful. So, what was this undercurrent of disappointment that ebbed and flowed just beneath the surface of my more honest moments? I got still, and I got sad. Then I would see something horrific on the news that other people were facing, and I would feel so horribly guilty for even daring to give myself permission to entertain anything other than gratitude. Which just heaped shame on top of my sadness. I’d determine that maybe all this off-kilterness was just because I was running a little low on sugar and caffeine. I’d reach for a handful of something chocolate and wash it down with a Diet Coke. Then I would rev up my Christian to-do list with all manners of serving, blessing, and giving others the kind of love I was so desperate to have boomerang back on me. Those are all good things. Fabulous activities. Biblical instructions. But when given from a heart whose real motivation is what I’m hoping I’ll get in return, it’s not really love at all.