Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely

by Lysa TerKeurst

If you want to know what’s really inside a person, listen carefully to the words she speaks.

There’s nothing like a serious dose of stress mixed with an extreme time crunch that makes a person’s mouth forget its filter. What you really think spills out in words a little too raw and forces you to take a look at where they came from.

Self-rejection paves the landing strip for the rejection of others to arrive and pull on up to the gates of our hearts. Think about why it hurts so much when other people say or do things that make you feel rejected. Isn’t it in part due to the fact they just voiced some vulnerability you’ve already berated yourself for? It hurts exponentially more when you’re kicked in an already bruised shin.

Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.

When a man is physically present but emotionally absent, a girl’s heart can feel quite hollow and helpless. This is true whether that man is her father, her husband, or even a man whom she deeply respects.

The beliefs we hold should hold us up even when life feels like it’s falling apart.

We must respect ourselves enough to break the pattern of placing unrealistic expectations on others. After all, people will not respect us more than we respect ourselves.

No, it’s not wrong to need people. But some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of expectations we have of others that they can’t ever possibly meet. That’s when the desire to connect becomes an unrealistic need. Unrealistic neediness is actually greediness in disguise.

At the core of who we are, we crave the acceptance that comes from being loved.

This was either going to be a truly amazing getaway or one after which my people would never see me again and I’d be featured on some Dateline show where Keith Morrison’s deep and mysterious voice would say, “It all started with a strange invitation to a strange place with strangers who turned into dangers.” My brain is so very prone to run off to the worst-case scenarios and start writing ominous news stories about tragedies that never happen. For. Real.

The word trust is like air; you know it’s there but it’s tough to draw a picture of it.

Girls who have the lingering whispers of rejection still echoing in the hollows of their soul rarely feel completely held safe. So they look at gaps of the unknown and hesitate at best. Run away at worst. They crave for life to make sense. They cringe when it doesn’t. It’s unfathomable to take a leap into something as uncertain as air and expect to stay intact.

People who care more about being right than ending right prove just how wrong they were all along.

“Bitterness, resentment, and anger have no place in a heart as beautiful as yours.”