Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Cantankerous Clients, Micromanaging Minions, and Other Supercilious Scourges

by Jen Mann

The foundation of our marriage is built on relentless teasing of one another, constant griping, and the knowledge that no one else could stand us, so we'd better make this work. Oh yeah, I forgot about love. I meant to say love is the foundation of our marriage—the love of bickering.

I didn't understand office politics. I didn't realize having a job meant I had to show up every day, all day, even when I didn't really feel like it. I thought that once I had enough money, I could just quit for a while and come back when I ran out of cash.

She was a huge influence on me. Marci taught me about loyalty, how to swear properly, how to parent without fucks, how to deal with bitchy neighbors, how to date your husband, and how to value yourself.

Marci sounds like the aunt I wish I could be.

Carol was my first experience with the “down with the Man” mentality and I didn't have my “fuck the establishment” face mastered yet the way I do now.

I didn't accept the job with Dr. Finkelman. My self-esteem couldn't have survived. I also never got my breasts reduced, because my relationship wouldn't have survived either. Apparently Ebeneezer could overlook my repulsive nose, chin, and eyes, but smaller boobs were a deal breaker.

I had been working for Philip and Carleton Corporation for about two years when he fired me with a Post-it Note.

WTF. Who does that?

He was told that he didn't fit in with the “corporate culture.” There isn't a lot you can say when this is the reason you're given for being fired. He'd done a good job and he'd had success, but he just didn't fit in. And he didn't fit in for good reason. He wasn't a fratboy bro. He didn't drink the (spiked) Kool-Aid and join the group of lemmings sacrificing their lives and marriages for The Company.

As someone who can see the negative in everything, I sympathized with Doris, but even I was not as bleak as she was. Doris could find the negative in just about everything. “Hey Doris, the sun is out!” “We're all going to get melanoma and die!” “Hey Doris, you just gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby!” “My vagina will never be the same and this baby's head looks like a cauliflower.”

Working from home also sucks because when you're juggling your work and kids, there's also the laundry nagging you and the crumbs on the floor daring you to ignore them another day.

I think we all feel this after 2020.

work had always been a good place to go to decompress. There was always someone at work willing to listen to me or to commiserate with me. I could hang out by the watercooler and bitch to my heart's content and then head back to my cubicle, vented and ready to work. When you work from home with your husband and two small children as your only coworkers, there is no one who will listen to you.

Criticism rolls off me now and I am bolstered by the strength of my tribe.

I want to feel this way.