It Only Happens in the Movies

by Holly Bourne

Harry sensed me stiffen. “Hey, don’t get mad at her. She was just asking…as a friend, you know?” I didn’t reply. I just turned and grabbed the water, shoved it at him. “You said you were thirsty?” He pushed the glass away. “Audrey, come on. Don’t be like this. It wasn’t like that…it…” I interrupted him, my voice a whisper but with a lot of venom in it. “You spoke to another girl about our sex life? One you know doesn’t like me? One you had a thing with? And now you want to talk about sex? Now? While you’re off your face? Naked? Here uninvited? In the middle of the night?” “I thought it would be romantic.” “Harry, I can feel your fucking erection sticking into my thigh.” And, at that, he burst out laughing. Proper laughing. A high-pitched hee-haw, like someone had stamped on a donkey. His face was bright red. “You’re right!” he managed to get out. “This isn’t very romantic, is it?” I shook my head, dazed from his laughter. “No, it’s not. It’s also totally unfair of you.” He was giggling too hard to listen though. I was brimming with anger and insecurity and just confusion but I let him laugh himself out, the bed rocking – not in the way he’d planned – as he eventually calmed himself down. “Will you put your boxers on?” I asked. Feeling like I was on the verge of A Big Talk, and really not wanting to do that with…that lurking underneath my duvet. Harry saluted and wiggled back into his pants, still letting out the odd small grunt of laughter, while I hit him with my pillow a...