More on this book
Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Lynn Baber
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. — George Bernard Shaw
We are all inclined to judge ourselves by ideals; others, by their acts. —Harold Nicolson
If you tell someone you don’t care, you better not care. Be equally delighted regardless of what shows up on your plate. If you ask someone to pick what’s for dinner, their selection should be equally delightful to you. Anything else is bad form and damages relationship.
Assumptions are our attempts to explain the unexplained.
Effective questioning requires you to listen to answers (without interruption) and suspend judgment. That means resisting the urge to make assumptions. Do not skip over this point. It’s a biggie. Because we assume others are as we are, our explanations are limited to what we would do or think in a similar situation. Assumptions define who we are.
Saying what you mean and correctly asking for information earns respect and produces far more yes answers than nos. Success that matters is the result of being other-directed.
MAJOR POINT: Successful people consider the welfare of others before their own.
There are three parts to using requests properly: Clearly state the request. Know what the right answer looks like. Once you get the right answer, stop asking.
Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words. —Roy T. Bennett
