After detecting this strange calm at the job site, I realized I wasn’t scared to die anymore, because nothing about the experience seemed terrible to me. Though I wasn’t scared to die, I wanted to believe that death was not in my near future, for I felt that I still had things to accomplish: words to write, issues to be an activist about, and children to raise. But I understood that Herrera, Howard, and Clark must have felt that they still had things left to accomplish, too. For this reason, I came to believe that whether or not I lived was not my prerogative, but the prerogative of something
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