I was beginning to realize that there were two types of pain. There was the kind that I’d known for decades: the catalyzing kind, pain that’s fierce and angry, that kicks you in the ribs as you’re scrambling forward and slaps you across the face as you get to your feet. The kind that starts screaming at you as you approach the impossible—and makes you want to scream back. That pain fills you up. It weighs on you. It makes you big. And then there’s the pain that does the opposite. This pain was taking from me. I was emptying. I felt like I was leaving pieces of myself on the trail. I was
...more
