Dear Aaron

by Mariana Zapata

AHall80: You eating? RubyMars: Yes, Mommy Aaron. I’m back up ten pounds. RubyMars: Am I being too… familiar with you? I don’t want to make you feel weird. AHall80: No. You’re how I expected

AHall80: I’m messing with you. Glad you are AHall80: Am I being too familiar now? RubyMars: No, you’re just like I expected.

RubyMars: How’s the constipation? AHall80: …. RubyMars: …. AHall80: …. RubyMars: No? You didn’t like that question? AHall80: ….. AHall80: Did you finish your dating website profile? RubyMars: I’ll take it you’re still constipated. AHall80: Who are you?

Lmao

AHall80: Bye, Ruby Cube.

Cute

AHall80: Long long day RubyMars: Go to bed. AHall80: I will in a min. Just wanted to get on and check on you for a sec.

RubyMars: She’s good. We’re all still kind of spoiling her and she’s eating it up, saying she should have gone to the doctor sooner if we were all going to be so nice to her afterward. AHall80: That’s… RubyMars: Awful. I know, she’s out of her mind. AHall80: Heh

Lmao

AHall80: Make one for Aries. I’ll pay you. RubyMars: I’ll make one for him, but you don’t have to pay me. Just tell me where to ship it. AHall80: I have a job, you don’t. I can pay. RubyMars: All I see is “Blah, blah, blah.” Give me an address to ship it to.

Lmao

RubyMars: I’ll change the subject then. RubyMars: Have you gone #2 lately? AHall80: Three days ago. RubyMars: Are you joking? AHall80: I wish. RubyMars: AARON AHall80: I know. I KNOW. RubyMars: Does it hurt? AHall80: Uh, when it comes out?

Lmao

RubyMars: I didn’t mean your… rectum. RubyMars: Aaron? RubyMars: Aaron? RubyMars: Are you there? RubyMars: AARON? AHall80: You’re not the only one who couldn’t breathe or type. RubyMars: LMAO I’m crying. AHall80: me too AHall80: me too RubyMars: I mean… you can tell me if your butt hurts too, I guess. AHall80: Ruby, stop

AHall80: I don’t know when the last time I laughed so hard was. AHall80: Everyone is looking at me wondering wtf happened. RubyMars: Your rectum happened AHall80: BYE

Lmao

AHall80: Did he pick you up? RubyMars: And tell him where I live? You nuts? AHall80: Smart girl

RubyMars: All I’m going to say is, maybe you just need to find the right girl. Not at a bar. RubyMars: Maybe she’s waiting for you at a church or a shelter. AHall80: You’re a pain in the ass, Ru RubyMars: Yeah, you don’t like that idea so much when someone turns it around on you, huh?

Lmao

AHall80: How tall are you? I looked up a video of her and she looks small. RubyMars: You did? RubyMars: I’m five one. She’s five three. RubyMars: She’s freakishly strong, don’t let her deceive you. AHall80: You can take her

AHall80: :] Let him pay you. I’ll tell him $20 each, or more? AHall80: You can say more. RubyMars: $20? Are you crazy? AHall80: 15 RubyMars: No! AHall80: 14.99 RubyMars: When did you become a pest? AHall80: You’ve rubbed off on me. AHall80: 10 RubyMars: $10 is too much. It’s from an old bolt I had and the bandanas aren’t even reversible, and it’s you. AHall80: $9? RubyMars: Stop. $5 each. That’s my final offer.

AHall80: K. To the address you sent them from? RubyMars: Yes, stalker AHall80: …. RubyMars: ….

Lmao

RubyMars: Physically I’m fine. But I got cash from Max for his bandanas, and I also got four bolts of fabric in the mail that I know I didn’t order. AHall80: Oh? RubyMars: Don’t “oh” me. Did you send them? AHall80: You’re welcome, Rubes. RubyMars: Aaron. You didn’t have to do that!!!!! AHall80: I wanted to. Happy early birthday. RubyMars: How did you know my birthday was coming up? AHall80: Stalker, remember? :] AHall80: I told Max to look you up on Facebook.

Lmako

AHall80: You shouldn’t have your birthday on there. People can steal your identity. RubyMars: Apparently.

RubyMars: I like that so much more. RubyMars: It’s way too much. I don’t know what to say. AHall80: Thank you, Aaron? RubyMars: Har har har RubyMars: Thank you, Aaron! :) RubyMars: Really, thank you.

AHall80: I can only get on for a sec, but happy birthday, stalker girl. RubyMars: Thank you, stalker boy. You made my day.

AHall80: What’s the worse that’ll happen? RubyMars: She yells at me and throws the dress on the floor? AHall80: You yell back at her and sell the dress if she acts like that.

RubyMars: Might as well leave the ones with skid marks while you’re at it too. AHall80: Skid marks??

Lmao

AHall80: I can promise you there’s 0 skid marks on my underwear. RubyMars: Zero, really? AHall80: Maybe not 0… maybe 2.

AHall80: You talk about skid marks with all your friends? RubyMars: Only with the ones I like the best. :) AHall80: Lucky me. :]

AHall80: I’m sorry RubyMars: For what? RubyMars: What can I do? RubyMars: I’ve been taking kickboxing for almost a year now. I know how to booby trap an airbag, you know. RubyMars: You tell me and I’ll do it. RubyMars: No one will ever know it was me. RubyMars: Strangers on a train, Ruby and Aaron style.

AHall80: How you can make me laugh even when I want to kill someone is beyond me AHall80: Thank you

RubyMars: Joking aside, is there anything I can do? I really will booby trap an airbag. You can look up a video on how to do anything nowadays. I’ll do it for you. Because if that was Jazz, I’d kill someone. AHall80: Thanks, but I already feel better. I don’t need you getting into trouble for me. RubyMars: I wouldn’t get in trouble because no one would find out.

He’s nice. AHall80: You said the other guy was nice RubyMars: I think you’re nice, too. AHall80: You know what I mean

AHall80: I thought your sister was the sore loser in the family? RubyMars: Har har har RubyMars: I don’t want

AHall80: Have you heard from that guy? RubyMars: Which one? RubyMars: ^^ the first and only time I’ve ever sounded like a player.

Lmao

RubyMars: I’m going to throw up. I really am. AHall80: You’re not going to throw up. AHall80: Breathe. AHall80: You’ve got it. You’re going to be fine. AHall80: I got to say I’m really damn proud of you for quitting.

RubyMars: I think I might have to go break into #4’s liquor stash to calm down. My heart is still racing. AHall80: …. RubyMars: Not like that. It isn’t palpitations. AHall80: You sure? AHall80: Be serious. RubyMars: I’m sure. I’m sorry for saying it like that. Don’t worry. I’m okay.

AHall80: Don’t go running out getting the first job that pops up either if you freak out more later. RubyMars: It scares me how well you’ve gotten to know me.

RubyMars: Before she starts walking the bike and me forward, she leans into my ear and says “If you don’t do this right the first time, Rubella, you’re on bathroom and kitchen cleanup for the next month, okay, honey? You can do it. I believe in you.” RubyMars: Yeah, I learned how to ride that freaking bike that time LOL.

Lmao

AHall80: Aaron and Ruby RIP 2008-2009 RubyMars: There are tears in my eyes RubyMars: “Ruron Forever” AHall80: Ruron? Ruby+Aaron? That’s clever. RubyMars: It’s our ship name

AHall80: I gotta go, but I’ll msg you soon, Ruron RubyMars: Okay, bye, Ruron.

AHall80: Swear on my life, I’ve lost so much face with other soldiers since I started e-mailing and IMing you, I don’t know if I’ll ever recover it. People can’t take me seriously when I laugh out loud at you.

AHall80: I heard this joke that made me think of you RubyMars: Share it. AHall80: What do cows like to read? RubyMars: There are already tears in my eyes AHall80: Cattle logs RubyMars: You are a treasure I will value every day for the rest of my life.

AHall80: He didn’t try to come on to you? RubyMars: He kissed me. RubyMars: That was all. It was nice. RubyMars: Are you there? AHall80: Yeah RubyMars: Everything okay? AHall80: Yeah

Hes jelaous????

RubyMars: I’m just trying not to say anything that’s going to piss you off. AHall80: Piss me off? RubyMars: Yes. AHall80: What are you talking about? RubyMars: You were being all weird on our last IMs and you didn’t write me back for almost two weeks. I e-mailed you twice and nothing. You were pissed off. I don’t have to see your face to know. You aren’t the only one who can tell when something is up.

AHall80: You’re something else RubyMars: Something good? AHall80: Very good

AHall80: My bad on the last few weeks. AHall80: I missed talking to you too RubyMars: Nobody told you you couldn’t talk to me. AHall80: Way to lay down the guilt trip

RubyMars: We’re still the platonic version of Ruron. RubyMars: If you want. AHall80: …yeah

He doesnt want platonic

AHall80: I hope you know you’re the best person I’ve ever been paired with. This tour would’ve been a whole lot shittier without you.

So it wasn’t a surprise that I liked Aaron Hall. I liked him a lot. A lot, a lot. More than a lot. If I really let myself think about it, I wouldn’t even call what I felt for him being along the lines of “like.”

“Why would you do that, Squirt?” “I don’t know!” I hissed back at her, trying not to laugh and feel mortified at the same time and failing. Like usual. “It just happened. It was like I was talking to you or something.” “You’ve never written that to me!” I groaned and felt my entire body flame up all over again in shame. “I know! I’ve never sent that to anyone.”

Lmao

AHall80: You sure he didn’t do anything to you? RubyMars: You’re sweet. And no, I promise. He’s still alive. He kissed me when I wasn’t expecting it and started trying to touch my little boobies (spoiler alert). I told him to stop and he did.

lmao

RubyMars: What I really want to know is, how does someone leave somewhere without their underwear on? Is that a thing? That really happens? AHall80: … AHall80: RC, the joy you bring to my life… I can never pay you back. RubyMars: I’m being serious! AHall80: I know you are :]

Ahall80: I only got one girl I’m interested in right now. RubyMars: Oh? Ahall80: Lady Liberty RubyMars: And you think I’m cheesy. Ahall80: I’ve never said you were cheesy

i thought he was going to confess it was her!!!

AHall80: What do you look like? RubyMars: Like a girl…?

lmao this girl

AHall80: Youll come visit? RubyMars: No, I mean, okay you’re drunk, lol. AHall80: U wont come visit? RubyMars: Ask me tomorrow when you aren’t plastered. AHall80: Ur not saying no RubyMars: I’m not saying yes either. :)