Dear Aaron

by Mariana Zapata

Dear Aaron, My name is Ruby Santos, and I’m your new pairing through the Help a Soldier Foundation.

I went to see my favorite band. They’re called The Cloud Collision. You probably haven’t heard of them. They’re indie rock with an even balance of screaming and amazing vocals. It’s kind of hard to explain. I’ve been a fan for a few years. Every time they play close by, I go watch them.

If a little distance is all that it takes to tear a relationship apart, that should tell you something.

What kind of girl do you think I am?

A good girl. That’s what I’m trying to say.

“I want to meet you, and I’m not giving you any time to think about it. You’re telling me you’re worried, and I’m pushing you into it. That’s selfish, and you know what, Rube? I don’t give much of a shit.”

“You could’ve told me your mom and sister are the ugly ones in the family.”

The way he hugged the hell out of me would be something that sickness and death could never take away.

“I’m really damn happy to see you, Ruby.” His voice was quiet, not hesitant but more cautious. “I look at you and I can’t stop smiling. That’s all. You’re adorable.”

Looking back on it, it’s weird thinking about the moments you don’t realize are important. The sentences, the touches, the actions that seem so innocent in that second, you take them for granted. The words that make water into wine in the course of your life. But I would never forget the way his words made me feel. The way he made me feel right then.

“I think I want to wake up every day and watch this,” I whispered to him, pulling my knees into my chest so I could settle my chin on top of them. “It would be worth waking up early for.” And all Aaron said, in his low, soft-spoken voice that he’d been using on me since yesterday, with something in the notes I couldn’t classify that sounded almost like hope, if hope had a sound and if a promise could be made without vocalizing it, was, “Any morning you want, Rube. I’ll watch it with you.”

“I was a goner from the first time you gave me hell.” Aaron smiled. “Maybe even before then.”

“You are so goddamn special, Ruby. I’ll tell you every day if I have to.”

“You’re not crazy. You’re the best, and you deserve better than me, but I hope you don’t care.”

“The idea of you being with somebody else… even just texting them… him… even before I saw your face or heard your voice, Rube… I don’t want you with anybody else. You’re my Ruby, and you have been for a long time.”

Aaron blushed even as he grinned and shook his head. “Come here.” I felt myself perk up. “Where?” With both hands at about chest level, he motioned me toward him. “Here.” I eyed him and blinked, and that only made him grin more. “Come here and we can talk about sex.” My entire body went hot and red. Definitely red. I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if my eyeballs had bulged out of their sockets, and all I could do was laugh. “This sounds like the kind of moments my mom used to warn Jasmine about when she started having boyfriends, and she worried she’d end up pregnant.”