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If a little distance is all that it takes to tear a relationship apart, that should tell you something.
I’m too busy wondering how you’re doing.
RubyMars: Have you gone #2 lately? AHall80: Three days ago. RubyMars: Are you joking? AHall80: I wish. RubyMars: AARON AHall80: I know. I KNOW. RubyMars: Does it hurt? AHall80: Uh, when it comes out? RubyMars: Omg RubyMars: Aaron RubyMars: I meant your stomach. RubyMars: Does your stomach hurt? RubyMars: I can’t breathe RubyMars: Or type RubyMars: I didn’t mean your… rectum. RubyMars: Aaron? RubyMars: Aaron? RubyMars: Are you there? RubyMars: AARON? AHall80: You’re not the only one who couldn’t breathe or type. RubyMars: LMAO I’m crying. AHall80: me too AHall80: me too RubyMars: I mean… you
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You are a treasure I will value every day for the rest of my life.
“What would you need a warning for?” I asked, almost hesitantly but definitely a little distracted. There was another soft chuckle. “For that voice. Jesus, Ru. You told me you were worried I wasn’t going to like you, so I had this plan in my head for how I’d get you to talk to me in case things got awkward. And you start giving me shit thirty seconds in,” he argued. “You threw my game off.”
I was just Ruby. Just Ruby. And that had to be enough. I’d come too far for it not to be.
I had no idea right then that, for as long as my soul resided in my body and I could reminisce on the best parts of my life, I’d remember how Aaron Hall leaned forward and wrapped those long, tan arms around my back and pulled me into his chest. Me who was still on the bench. The way he hugged the hell out of me would be something that sickness and death could never take away.
“You smile a lot more than I thought you would,” I kept going. “You said you never really smiled while you were over there.” “I don’t usually smile so much,” was his cryptic answer.
“I’m really damn happy to see you, Ruby.” His voice was quiet, not hesitant but more cautious. “I look at you and I can’t stop smiling. That’s all. You’re adorable.”
Looking back on it, it’s weird thinking about the moments you don’t realize are important. The sentences, the touches, the actions that seem so innocent in that second, you take them for granted. The words that make water into wine in the course of your life. But I would never forget the way his words made me feel. The way he made me feel right then.
I started loosening the grip I had on Aaron’s hand. He held my hand tighter.
The smile that came over his face at my last word was worth… everything. Everything in my kingdom for that smile. I’d never felt more powerful in my life than I did in that moment.
It wasn’t until you that I heard myself laugh, Ruby.”
“Why are we so close together?” “Because.” One of the hands at my waist tightened. “I want to.”
“You’re beautiful, Ru. And you’re sweet and kind. You’re all those things you don’t think you are… all those things you think everyone else in your family is, and more. I didn’t understand why you couldn’t see that in yourself, but I get it now.”
“Mostly though, Rubes, I want to go back in time and beat every single person’s ass who’s ever made you doubt yourself, because the girl who makes me smile ‘til my face hurts even on a shit day needs to see that in herself. I feel like I owe it to you.”
“I was a goner from the first time you gave me hell.” Aaron smiled. “Maybe even before then.”
“You are so goddamn special, Ruby. I’ll tell you every day if I have to.”
“Because you make me happy, Ruby. Because there’s no one else I want to be around more.”
“You’re not crazy. You’re the best, and you deserve better than me, but I hope you don’t care.”
You’re my Ruby, and you have been for a long time.”
“I haven’t liked you dating other people in months.” He spat the words out with so much disgust I couldn’t help but fall even more in love. “It’s making me mad right now just thinking about it, Ruby,” he said in that low voice. “I was jealous when I hadn’t seen you, when I didn’t know how much I like having you close by… when I hadn’t heard your voice….” He swallowed. “Even if you didn’t… look the way you do, I would’ve been here, feeling this way about you. Does that help you understand?”
“It bothers me how well you know me.” “Tough shit.”
“Like I’d ever tell you I don’t want to see you.”
Loving Aaron wasn’t something I could just keep to myself, it burst out, stretching every seam in my soul and body. When you loved someone, you told them. There was no other option. And I told him my greatest truth, like it was something I was proud of and would tell anyone… because I could and would. “Maybe this is the wrong time, but I don’t care. I love you, stalker.” With the side of my face to the warm, damp skin of his chest, he whispered the words right back to me as another hand landed on the small of my back. “I love you too, Ruby Cube. You know that.”
“I love you, stalker. Time. Distance. Nothing is going to change that. We’ll figure this out, I promise.”
“You’re mine, RC. That’s not changing.”
