Dear Aaron

by Mariana Zapata

AHall80: Bye, Ruby Cube.

RubyMars: I’m five one.

Ok WAIT he's 6'2" and she's 5'1"??? Hmmm… If this was an Ali Hazelwood it would've become a major plot point lol

“Ruby, don’t worry about the money. We can figure it out. I’m not expecting anything from you. I told you the truth when I said you’re my closest friend. You are. I tell you more than I tell anyone else. How the hell could I let anything happen to the one person who’s made me laugh when it was the last thing I wanted to do?”

He started straightening, his face pausing while he was still eye level with me when he said way too evenly, “You could’ve told me your mom and sister are the ugly ones in the family.”

He was blushing. And that only made me blush. Leaning forward, his words and his pink cheeks and his smile with a dent in it still fresh on my mind, I asked him, still practically whispering, “Are you drunk again?” That dimple that was for sure a dimple went even deeper and his smile went full-powered on my heart,

Aaron must have sensed being eyeballed because he glanced over his shoulder and raised those sun-lightened eyebrows. “Do I have something on my face?” I could feel my cheeks get red; that’s how bad it was getting caught. “No. It’s just… weird to see you in person.” I hesitated for a second and told him the truth, because I’d promised not to lie, and something in my gut said if he’d known when I was full of crap online, he could tell the same thing in person. “You’re just… not as hard on the eyes as I thought you were going to be.”

Looking back on it, it’s weird thinking about the moments you don’t realize are important. The sentences, the touches, the actions that seem so innocent in that second, you take them for granted. The words that make water into wine in the course of your life. But I would never forget the way his words made me feel. The way he made me feel right then.

“I think I want to wake up every day and watch this,” I whispered to him, pulling my knees into my chest so I could settle my chin on top of them. “It would be worth waking up early for.” And all Aaron said, in his low, soft-spoken voice that he’d been using on me since yesterday, with something in the notes I couldn’t classify that sounded almost like hope, if hope had a sound and if a promise could be made without vocalizing it, was, “Any morning you want, Rube. I’ll watch it with you.”

I finished putting sunscreen on my face when Aaron rolled up to his knees on his own towel, his body facing mine. He didn’t move for a second, and I didn’t want to look at his face to see what he was focused on, until finally he said, “You missed a spot.” When his thumb went to the shell of my ear, smoothing sunblock on it before swiping down to rub at my earlobe, moving the small star-shaped studs there, I let him. I shouldn’t have, but I did. Keeping my gaze on the center of my chest so he couldn’t see the struggle going on inside of me was harder than I’d ever imagined, especially when he did the same thing to my other ear, and I had to hold in my breath to keep from panting.

I swallowed and waited until Aaron moved his hand to the center of my face, his thumb swiping across my chin slowly before pulling back and saying, “There.” All I could do was manage to grind out a “thank you” that sounded like I was out of breath.

“Aaron’s not too hard on the eyes either if you like that kind of Captain America thing,” she joked.

👀

“The, uh, waitress.” “The waitress?” Crap. “The one at the restaurant.” At the rate of a snail, the confused expression on Aaron’s face slowly melted off, replaced by a smile at the same pace. Why did he look so smug? “RC, I know her, but she’s not my friend.”

She's jealous and he knows she's jealous and he likes it !

“She used to mess around with my brother. She’s nice and all, but we’re not friends.” Well. What could I say after that besides “Oh”? The blond beside me grinned a little too smugly. “She’s not my type.”

LOL

Chancing a peek at him, I gave him a smile that was a lot weaker than any I’d given him yet, and he returned it to me, those eyes drilling into mine in this way that was completely new to me. Almost like… I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure at all, because I’d seen every man my mom had ever married look at her the same way. I’d seen my brother’s boyfriend look at my brother that way. And Aaron wasn’t supposed to be looking at me the same. Not even close.

I felt a hand cover my right one. The palm of Aaron’s hand covered the back of my hand, his fingers going over mine.

When the hand over mine squeezed it one more time, he leaned to the side and whispered, “Come dance with me.” Uh. “Okay? I don’t really dance though…” “We’ll make it work,” he said, already pulling me up to my feet, his gaze so intense, I almost started to worry.

So he needed some liquid courage

Friends with beautiful faces that you were in love with didn’t croak into your ear, “You’re not stupid. I don’t think that you’re stupid or dumb or pathetic, you understand me? Not even a little.” The fingers around my waist gave me an even tighter squeeze, and I was sure his lips brushed my forehead as we stood there, an unmoving island in this world. “I hate you thinking that of yourself, because you’re not.”

“You are not, Ruby.” His chest pressed closer to mine on another inhale and he said, “You’re the opposite of all those things. Every single one. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re talented…” That mouth went to my temple again and just stayed there, whispering words directly into me. “You think I’ve forgotten about you and you’re ‘just Ruby’ shit?”

And he kept going, oblivious. “You’re beautiful, Ru. And you’re sweet and kind. You’re all those things you don’t think you are… all those things you think everyone else in your family is, and more. I didn’t understand why you couldn’t see that in yourself, but I get it now.”

“Mostly though, Rubes, I want to go back in time and beat every single person’s ass who’s ever made you doubt yourself, because the girl who makes me smile ‘til my face hurts even on a shit day needs to see that in herself. I feel like I owe it to you.” Aaron kissed my temple, and I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t get my cells to move.

And if that wasn’t enough, he kept going. He kept going. “I was a goner from the first time you gave me hell.” Aaron smiled. “Maybe even before then.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That hand that had held mine countless times over the last few days came up and Aaron brushed at my cheek with his thumb. I heard him gulp. Heard him breathe. I felt him over the entire length of my body. “You are so goddamn special, Ruby. I’ll tell you every day if I have to.”

Then I stopped moving and raised my head so I could meet his eyes as I opened and closed my mouth. “Wait a second.” He raised a blond eyebrow, his facial features a mix of hope and nerves. Nerves. Coming from Aaron. What was going on?

“I don’t understand,” I told him slowly, still processing everything, forcing myself to back up a second. “What don’t you understand?” he asked easily, a partial smile on his features. I squinted. “What do you mean?” “What do you mean what do I mean?”

“Do you like me? Is that what you’re trying to say?” He squeezed my hip, his gaze intent. “Yes.” My entire world went hazy as I got out, with more hope than I ever could have dreamed, “As more than a friend?” All of Aaron’s facial features gentled and dropped, even his shoulders seemed to slump a little, those mahogany eyes boring right into mine, capturing them and not letting them go as he said one word and only one word, “Yes.”

“As a lot more than just a friend,” he clarified like his “yes” hadn’t been enough. His voice sounded watery and a little unsure, and it… it wrecked me.

Aaron pulled me in close to him again, his mouth lowering so that he could speak directly into my ear. “You’re not crazy. You’re the best, and you deserve better than me, but I hope you don’t care.”

Aaron pulled away from me just enough so he could look down and I could look up at him. “I know I told you I don’t know about marriage and all that, but…” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “The idea of you being with somebody else… even just texting them… him… even before I saw your face or heard your voice, Rube… I don’t want you with anybody else. You’re my Ruby, and you have been for a long time.”

“Does that mean you want to kiss me?” I just went and blurted out. He didn’t vocally laugh, but I could sense the vibrations coming from his chest before he said, grinning down at me, “Uh-huh.” He wanted to kiss me. Aaron wanted to kiss me. “Not as a friend?” I clarified. “Not as a friend,” he confirmed, amusement tingeing his words.

“Cat pantyhose, huh?” “Cat pantyhose.” “That’s cute.” What was I supposed to say after that? “I have some with elephants on them too.” He raised an eyebrow as he lifted the bottle of his beer to that mouth that had touched various places on my face the night before. “I’d like to see those.”