Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved

by Kate Bowler

There is plenty of denial, and plenty of the deals people attempt to broker with God. “I am an atheist, but I put it aside, and I begged God to take the cancer away from my son and to put it into me.” I read that letter to my father, who is sitting in an overstuffed leather chair in my living room holding his Kindle two inches from his glasses. “Oh, I’ve prayed that a hundred times. ‘Please, God, why not just take me?’ ” he says a little wistfully. I scoot over beside him and rest my head on his knee. “Dad, that is about the kindest, saddest thing I’ve ever heard.” There is a gentle silence between us as I imagine that we are both thinking about how much we love each other before my dad begins to speak. “But then I remember that God didn’t spare Mozart at your age…so…” He is making a gesture that suggests he is weighing a heavy object in each hand. “So, you know.” I start to laugh. “What did he die of?” “The plague, I think.” “Oh, geez.” “Yeah. And God loves you at least as much as Mozart.” “Let’s go back to loving each other in silence.”