Opposite of Always

by Justin A. Reynolds

The problem is we spend most of our puny lives chasing someone else’s someone, and, if we’re lucky, we end up with only a third of the time we could’ve spent with the person truly meant for us. That is, if we don’t wind up missing them altogether.

“I don’t get love,” I confess. “Like when it’s good, it’s this amazing thing. Except it never stays good.”

“That’s life, though. You have problems. But you keep trying. You fight for the things you love.”

“So, maybe it’s not how something ends that matters. Maybe it’s about having something good, even for a little while.”

“I want you to remember me . . . not as a sick black girl with chicken legs from some no-name suburbs. I want you to remember me like this, right now. The moonlight over your shoulder, stretching against the night, the stars fluttering. Remember me like this. The rain slanting, the fog rolling. The street-lights flickering on. Every time you feel or see another evening like this, I want you to think of me smiling, laughing at you. Remember me, remember us, as a time of day.”

“Good night, my favorite time of day,” I say.

“Are you following me, Sorry?” “Who, me?” I ask. “No, the weird kid behind you.” I resist the urge to look behind me. “Just to be sure, there is no weird kid behind me, right?”

This was hilarious to me. Idk why.

Speaking of crazy, what if we knew each other in a past life. All I know is I want to know you well in this one.

I might be a Kate addict. And there doesn’t seem to be a cure for my addiction, and even if there were an antidote, I don’t think I’d want it. I know I wouldn’t want it. I’d refuse treatment, check myself out of the hospital against medical advice, wouldn’t even bother changing out of my gown, or those one-size-fits-all hospital skid-proof socks. Jack, you need to stay here. It’s for your own good, they’d plead. But I’d wave them all off. Because I’m happy, addiction be damned.

“That sometimes good things happen in your life that you didn’t count on, that you can’t completely account for, but once they do, life is about embracing those things, about expanding your world, about . . . doing something bigger than yourself.

People always say they’re happy you’re happy until they’re afraid that maybe your happiness is affecting their happiness and then they’re not so happy about you being so happy.

“The thing is, you don’t forfeit your whole world to prove your feelings to someone. You bring your worlds together. You get more world, not less.”

Have fun, Jack. The Eternal Cap’n to Your Crunch, Kate.

What if I save Kate but lose everyone else?

“I’d go anywhere for you.”

The only thing worse than losing someone you love is losing them again.

Never take time, or love, for granted.

I’m no hero. I didn’t save Kate. She didn’t need saving. If anything, she saved me. She taught me that almost doesn’t have to be a bad thing.