Opposite of Always
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Read between June 18 - June 22, 2020
3%
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the we’re-trying-to-hide-the-piss-smell-with-bleach elevator
Ruthie
if u think the hospital elevators smell bad, try the beds
12%
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“Keeping it old-school, I likey,”
Ruthie
what
13%
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And lack of bad-idea-follow-through counts for something, right?
Ruthie
what
16%
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So shoot your shot already, Jack, you say. Consider it shotted, my friends.
Ruthie
what
16%
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“I challenge you to watch it and not craugh,” she says. “Craugh?” She smiles. “Craughing is a simultaneous mix of crying and laughing that is triggered by only the absolute best things in life.”
Ruthie
what
21%
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“So, how’s your lady friend, young squire?”
Ruthie
what
21%
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Because, between friends, there are times when just knowing what you mean to each other isn’t enough. When you should really say the words.
23%
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Her lips might as well be keys, because damn if they don’t instantly have me wide open.
Ruthie
WHAT
31%
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Certainly not the ones I kamikazed down.
Ruthie
appreciate a good kamikaze
35%
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“What, do I have something on my face?” she asks, looking up from her book. “No,” I assure her. “But my lips are up for the job.”
Ruthie
the way I just cringed
41%
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We eat lots of bad-for-you food together.
Ruthie
so like... junk food?
41%
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Which turns out to be almost ALL THE COOL INDIE MOVIES.
Ruthie
please stop yelling
42%
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People always say they’re happy you’re happy until they’re afraid that maybe your happiness is affecting their happiness and then they’re not so happy about you being so happy.
Ruthie
because no one likes being ditched for a new girlfriend, dude, its not that deep
49%
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I perform a cross between the cha-cha and what I like to refer to as cracked-out polar bear on wheels.
Ruthie
what
52%
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She has a point. I don’t want to get it. But answer me this, who would? Did Ponce de León get it that there was no goddamn fountain of youth hidden in the Florida Everglades? Did Mr. George Washington Carver get it when people sneered who in the hell would want to eat soup made from peanuts? It is my contention that getting it is seriously overrated.
Ruthie
I... what the fuck are these references
53%
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I am the very image of the moping, love-angsted teenager. I wear the same jeans for several days as an outward symbol of my pain. But no one bats an eye when you wear the same denim for a week. So in a more obvious outward symbol of my pain I wear the same shirt.
Ruthie
why is this the funniest line in this book
53%
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“Wow, Molly, that was a very rude yet decently composed joke,” Ms. Haggerty, the art teacher, concedes.
Ruthie
wow, molly, I communicate like a robot
58%
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“This isn’t on you, Franny,” I say from the back seat. “No?” Franny asks, staring out the window. “Then how come my shoulders feel so heavy?”
Ruthie
I think franny is my favorite character tbh
69%
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“I don’t want you to just like me. Save your likes for Twitter.
Ruthie
hilarious
69%
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There’s a beaver-colony-level gnawing happening in my stomach that I can’t shake. It’s as though my stomach is made of the most tender whatever wood that beavers love most. The choicest wood that male beavers send to the female beavers of their affection. And these beavers are going to town in my stomach, because they haven’t seen this amount of sweet-ass lumber in a long time and they are taking full advantage of this new haul before it disappears.
Ruthie
what.
71%
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Jillian drives us to her grandparents’ summer cottage out on Lake Erie.
Ruthie
took me 70% of the book to realize this book is set in NE ohio and it turns out the author is from cleveland lmao
73%
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A nurse calls Kate’s name. I hesitate to stand, because I don’t want to be presumptuous, though I’d really like to go in with her. Kate stands. “I want you to come with me,” she says.
Ruthie
if /I/ had been dating a guy for a few months, and he mysteriously brought me to a supposedly 200 grand doctor's appointment, and he admitted that he sold his car for this, and we were only eighteen, I would. maybe not invite him into the appointment with me. but whatever
73%
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So, Kate’s oxygen-carrying cells tend to sickle. Meaning, they’re too hard. Too rodlike. And sometimes they get wedged in her arteries, which means her tissues don’t get the oxygen they need. Tissues without oxygen means it’s hard for the body to do anything, like move or breathe, means intense pain, and other symptoms I don’t fully comprehend.
Ruthie
this is the THIRD TIME youve explained sickle cell
82%
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I wait until he takes a big bite from his sandwich before I tell him things that Franny probably wouldn’t want him to know.
Ruthie
THEN WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM??????? how many times do you have to be a shitty friend???????????
89%
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“I’m sorry, Frann . . . Francisco. I’m really sorry.” “No, you’re not. You feel guilty. Learn the difference.”
96%
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And then I’m crying. And then I’m laughing. And then it finally happens— I’m craughing. I’m craughing.
Ruthie
WHAT the fuck