The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups

by Daniel Coyle

Here is the unheralded person who makes our success possible.

The groups I studied had extremely low tolerance for bad apple behavior and, perhaps more important, were skilled at naming those behaviors. The leaders of the New Zealand All-Blacks, the rugby squad that ranks as one of the most successful teams on the planet, achieve this through a rule that simply states “No Dickheads.” It’s simple, and that’s why it’s effective.

Create spaces that maximize collisions.

many groups follow the rule that no meeting can end without everyone sharing something.*2

rule, the underlying key is to have leaders who seek out connection and make sure voices are heard.

muscular humility—a mindset of seeking simple ways to serve the group. Picking up trash is one example, but the same kinds of behaviors exist around allocating parking places (egalitarian, with no special spots reserved for leaders), picking up checks at meals (the leaders do it every time), and providing for equity in salaries, particularly for start-ups. These actions are powerful not just because they are moral or generous but also because they send a larger signal: We are all in this together.

the successful groups I visited paid attention to moments of arrival. They would pause, take time, and acknowledge the presence of the new person, marking the moment as special: We are together now.

They handled negatives through dialogue, first by asking if a person wants feedback, then having a learning-focused two-way conversation about the needed growth.

They demonstrated that a series of small, humble exchanges—Anybody have any ideas? Tell me what you want, and I’ll help you—can unlock a group’s ability to perform. The key, as we’re about to learn, involves the willingness to perform a certain behavior that goes against our every instinct: sharing vulnerability.

A BrainTrust meeting is not fun. It is where directors are told that their characters lack heart, their storylines are confusing, and their jokes fall flat. But it’s also where those movies get better. “The BrainTrust is the most important thing we do by far,” said Pixar president Ed Catmull. “It depends on completely candid feedback.”

Captains and coaches watch a brain trust meeting to Sec how exactly the candid conversation is solution oriented while being direct and honest

As in BrainTrusts, the team members name and analyze problems and face uncomfortable questions head-on: Where did we fail? What did each of us do, and why did we do it? What will we do differently next time? AARs can be raw, painful, and filled with pulses of emotion and uncertainty.

Set B generates something more powerful: vulnerability.

Create some "set B' questions. For athletes to ask eachether, especially when we have water polo join us. Plus find some time for JV and varsity kids to participate https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-gsSwPGeYX_-kZEze-fn6XLP-CgTuCWZN-gStAQKTsc/edit?usp=drivesdk

Polzer points out that vulnerability is less about the sender than the receiver. “The second person is the key,” he says. “Do they pick it up and reveal their own weaknesses, or do they cover up and pretend they don’t have any? It makes a huge difference in the outcome.”

feelings of trust and closeness sparked by the vulnerability loop were transferred in full strength to someone who simply happened to be in the room. The vulnerability loop, in other words, is contagious.

Normally, we think about trust and vulnerability the way we think about standing on solid ground and leaping into the unknown: first we build trust, then we leap. But science is showing us that we’ve got it backward. Vulnerability doesn’t come after trust—it precedes it. Leaping into the unknown, when done alongside others, causes the solid ground of trust to materialize beneath our feet.

A pro baseball coach began a season-opening speech to his players by saying, “I was so nervous about talking to you today,” and the players responded by smiling sympathetically—they were nervous

“That’s why good teams tend to do a lot of extreme stuff together,” DeSteno says. “A constant stream of vulnerability gives them a much richer, more reliable estimate on what their trustworthiness is, and brings them closer, so they can take still more risks. It builds on itself.”

Exchanges of vulnerability, which we naturally tend to avoid, are the pathway through which trusting cooperation is built.

Kauffman decreed that every aspect of the training be team-based. Instead of operating solo, trainees were put into groups of six (the number that fit in navy-issue rubber rafts) and kept together through the duration of training.

Crew system like in Granbury?...

Kauffman eliminated the hierarchical distinction between officer and enlisted man. In his program, everyone did the training, no matter their rank. This, of course, included Kauffman.

Me in water? Me in weights? Give buy in to everyone.

What sets Log PT apart is its ability to deliver two conditions: intense vulnerability along with deep interconnectedness.

The weight (around 250 pounds) and length (ten feet) of the log lend it massive inertia; executing coordinated maneuvers requires each team member to apply the right amount of force at the right time, and the only way to do this is to pay keen attention to your teammates.

Vertical kicking? Need it to be safe though.: .

if the timing of one finger is off, even by a fraction of a second, it’s impossible.

Bucket of water in air and everyone has drag Sox on. Need to get drag Sox off first. Competition among crews

When a teammate falters or makes a wrong move, you can feel it, and you know that they can feel it when you do the same. It adds up to a choice. You can focus on yourself, or you can focus on the team and the task.

they value the willingness of one person taking a risk for the sake of the team.

The Panthers move through the stores like water; their actions are coordinated, calm, and focused. They don’t look at each other; they know where to go and what to do. They swing hammers at the cases with calm precision, sweep away broken glass and extract the diamonds with practiced efficiency, then depart like shadows.

Would anyone describe us this way? In competitions? In practice? At school?

They did not rely on any outside structure or safety net. They were the structure, and if any of them failed, the group would fail.

He’s the best at creating great teams.

Read this section to captains

We’re trying to create leaders among leaders. And you can’t just tell people to do that. You have to create the conditions where they start to do it.”

he had to generate a series of unmistakable signals that tipped his men away from their natural tendencies and toward interdependence and cooperation. “Human nature is constantly working against us,” he says. “You have to get around those barriers, and they never go away.”

“Tell me what’s wrong with this idea.”

This!!! Ask this once every single day

One of the best things I’ve found to improve a team’s cohesion is to send them to do some hard, hard training. There’s something about hanging off a cliff together, and being wet and cold and miserable together, that makes a team come together.”

“It’s got to be safe to talk,”

You have to ask why, and then when they respond, you ask another why.

Cooper chose a third path. He accepted the use of the stealth helicopters and also started preparing in case they failed.

Alternate simulations for relays? Especially the boys medley that could be rearranged so heavily

But that strength was built of a willingness to spot and confront the truth and to come together to ask a simple question over and over: What’s really going on here? Cooper and his team did not have to go back again and again to work on downed-helicopter scenarios. But they succeeded because they understood that being vulnerable together is the only way a team can become invulnerable.

Want to be invulnerable? Practice being vulnerable.

In other words, the most important person in one of the most creative places in history turned out to be the person almost everyone would overlook.

relentless curiosity.

with that landscape in mind, she gathers the group and asks questions designed to unearth tensions and help the group gain clarity about themselves and the project. The word she uses for this process is surfacing.*1

When she speaks, she constantly links back to you with small phrases—Maybe you’ve had an experience like this…Your work might be similar…The reason I was pausing there was…—

Link back to the listener. Give them an opportunity to feel the level of connection.

Part of it is that she knows people so well that she understands what they need. Sometimes what they need is support and praise. But sometimes what they need is a little knock on the chin, a reminder that they need to work harder, a nudge to try new things. That’s what she gives.”

I realized that the interesting part wasn’t the healing but the listening, and the relationship being formed. That’s what we needed to study.”

Is that why there is a drastic shift at year 4? Because a relationship is forged and the depth compounds with age?

the most important moments in conversation happen when one person is actively, intently listening.

Marci has connected increases in concordances to increases in perceived empathy: the more concordances occur, the closer the two people feel.

His vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s his strength.

What is one thing that I currently do that you’d like me to continue to do? • What is one thing that I don’t currently do frequently enough that you think I should do more often? • What can I do to make you more effective?

Add these questions to the beginning of year survey. Also include in fall individual meetings

Deliver the Negative Stuff in Person:

This rule is not easy to follow (it’s far more comfortable for both the sender and receiver to communicate electronically), but it works because it deals with tension in an up-front, honest way that avoids misunderstandings and creates shared clarity and connection.

the most effective listeners do four things: 1. They interact in ways that make the other person feel safe and supported 2. They take a helping, cooperative stance 3. They occasionally ask questions that gently and constructively challenge old assumptions 4. They make occasional suggestions to open up alternative paths

One good AAR structure is to use five questions: 1. What were our intended results? 2. What were our actual results? 3. What caused our results? 4. What will we do the same next time? 5. What will we do differently?

Post meet reflections?

Embrace the Discomfort: One of the most difficult things about creating habits of vulnerability is that it requires a group to endure two discomforts: emotional pain and a sense of inefficiency.