Single, Dating, Engaged, Married: Navigating Life and Love in the Modern Age

by Ben Stuart

You will, in a moment, become a sucker of life rather than a giver of life. And this is how toxic relationships are born.

Have you ever tried to listen to the Word of God preached while sitting next to a woman who smells fantastic? It’s not easy.

Paul wanted death to be his finish line. You should too.

I promise you, you will find deep satisfaction in this work during your single years. In 3 John 4, the apostle declared, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” You want joy like that? Invest in the next generation.

Loneliness and isolation are always creeping at the door, and we must battle them. Not necessarily with a broad swath of thousands of friends, but with a few, close, deep friendships.

In your season of singleness, and even in married life, you can stand strong in the stresses and strains in life if you prioritize developing relationships with those who love God, love you, and aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re being an idiot.

Do you hear what is happening when you do this? You are trying to customize your order to get what you think is best for you. This is exactly how you order a burger or curate your playlist. But this is not how you date. Why? Because we are looking for a person to love, not a product to consume.

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

Do not believe for a moment you have sinned too much to be loved by God or to be loved by one of his sons or daughters. The same resurrection power that conquered the grave can conquer sexual sin, shame, and addiction. You are never too far gone. The field I lit ablaze with uncontrolled fire many years ago in Beeville, Texas, has regrown. Your misused sexuality need not be the end of the story. The grace of God is far too amazing for an ending like that.

We should strive to be people who see the needs around us with a readiness to privately help rather than publicly hate.

This is such an exciting way to live life, knowing that your God has fused eternal purpose into our everyday encounters.

But let me plead with you: before you get a relationship with a guy or a girl right, it is essential you get a relationship with God right. He is your source of life. He is your source of love.

He is your stability. He is the hero who came for you, fought for you, died for you, and rose for you so that you could have life. He is the One who builds a structure in which you succeed and a kingdom in which you flourish. If you learn to trust him, he will make you the kind of person you are meant to be, and the world will be better for it. acknowledgments