The Courage to be Disliked: The Japanese phenomenon that shows you how to free yourself, change your life and achieve real happiness

by Ichiro Kishimi

As Adler points out, no one is capable of putting up with having feelings of inferiority for a long period of time. Feelings of inferiority are something that everyone has, but staying in that condition is too heavy to endure forever. YOUTH: Huh? This is getting pretty confusing. PHILOSOPHER: Okay, let’s go over things one at a time. The condition of having a feeling of inferiority is a condition of feeling some sort of lack in oneself in the present situation. So then, the question is— YOUTH: How do you fill in the part that’s missing, right? PHILOSOPHER: Exactly. How to compensate for the part that is lacking. The healthiest way is to try to compensate through striving and growth. For instance, it could be by applying oneself to one’s studies, engaging in constant training or being diligent in one’s work. However, people who aren’t equipped with that courage end up stepping into an inferiority complex. Again, it’s thinking, I’m not well educated, so I can’t succeed. And it’s implying your capability by saying, ‘If only I were well educated, I could be really successful.’ That ‘the real me’, which just happens to be obscured right now by the matter of education, is superior.

I remember a good example from martial artists I have met. In the martial arts, you start from zero, as with everyone else. Does not matter your education levels at that point of time (which can vary). Rather than things of your lesser control, you now strive toward things that with every exertion, you improve your mastery. Some prefer to have this kinesthetic value.