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February 25 - February 28, 2025
When you get old, it’s way better to have daughters than sons. Daughters usually take care of their elderly parents. Sons, less so.
Maybe after I take it down in the elevator, George the elevator guy can help me push it to housekeeping. (That was a joke.)
“It’s not like I’m asking you to meet me in the call room, Jane.” He lowers his voice a notch. “Although we could if you wanted.”
It’s pitch black when we get outside and the first thing I do is step right in a big puddle of melted snow, soaking my foot. It’s my right foot, so every time I press a pedal on the drive home, I feel the water squishing against my toes.
Before he gets out of sight, I’ve grabbed the bag of peanut butter cups and stuffed it in my own cart.
I hate snow. Does that make me some kind of Grinch? I don’t know, maybe. But I don’t care. I. Hate. Snow.
five-year mortality rate after an amputation due to diabetes is about fifty percent.
“That’s right,” Mrs. Singer pipes up. “Smoking was just something that he always wanted to start doing. But he had to quit when he started dialysis.” I guess at the point that he was being dialyzed three times a week, he realized that he wasn’t going to be able to live out his lifelong dream of being a smoker.
“By the way,” I say to Dr. Kirschstein. “Do you have that book from your wife about raising children?” He looks at me blankly. “What book?” “You told me that your wife had a book about…” I see from his face that he has no clue what I’m talking about. “Never mind. I’ll get the plates.”
“Oh,” she says. “Since you’re buying something, I can give you three of those plates for free.” I think I hate this woman.
He nods and releases my hands, which I shove into my pockets. I don’t say to him what I can’t stop thinking, which is that if he hadn’t been such a wuss and just got tested for that dominant gene, Leah could have been his daughter.
Forever 21 is Lisa’s absolute favorite store and possibly her mantra. I’ve only been inside the store a handful of times, and I always feel about twenty years too old to be shopping there. Not everyone can be forever 21.
I wish he’d been more effusive than that. He could have said, Thanks, Jane! You’re the best! I love you so much for doing basically all the childcare while I do crossword puzzles and eat peanut butter at home. Although it’s unlikely he would have written that.
“You would be able to fight with a T rex? Jane, you can’t even open a jar of spaghetti sauce.”
“Just a small town Mommy, living in a lonely Mommy. Took the midnight train going to Mommmmmmyyyyyy!”
Fine, he’s right. I do go straight to Ben every time something goes wrong with my phone or computer. But there was a time when he was happy to help me. There was a time when if I had an issue with my computer, he’d grab it from me and fix it before I even had to ask. He used to love helping me.
I wonder where the hard reset button is on our marriage.
I felt like a piece of bread with peanut butter on it that had just found a matching piece of bread coated with jelly.
Except as we were kissing, it was all too obvious to me that Ryan Reilly is not my soulmate. He’s a guy that I enjoyed hooking up with years ago but he’s not the love of my life. The love of my life is at home right now, with the child we made together. And even though he walked out on me last night, I’ve got to try to make it work with him. Whatever it takes, I’m going to do it. Ben is the one I’m meant to be with.
“Please.” He holds up his hand. “Let me protect you while I still can.”
See, Mr. Katz? There are worse things than cancer.
When you name your daughter Madison in 2010, remember that her name will be the Mildred of 2090.
“Also,” he says, “maybe you could tell her it’s okay for me to have some coke? I mean, just a tiny bit.” I almost laugh. What kind of person asks their doctor to tell their girlfriend that it’s okay to snort coke? I must really seem like a pushover. “I don’t think April will go for that.” “No,” he agrees. “Probably not.”
“Alyssa and I were in residency together,” I explain to him. “Is that so?” Dr. Kirschstein smiles in amusement. “You are certainly quite well-connected, Dr. McGill! It seems like you know everyone. Next you’ll be telling me that you know Benedict Cumberbatch.” Benedict Cumberbatch? That’s such an odd choice of someone a well-connected person might know. Why didn’t he say, “Next you’ll be telling me that you know the President”? Or even, “Next you’ll be telling me that you know Kevin Bacon.” Why Benedict Cumberbatch?
Two days ago. Ryan hasn’t been to work in two days. He lives alone. He has no wife or girlfriend. If he were lying dead in his house, would anyone know? Oh God…
“Jane.” He waits for a moment until I turn to meet his gaze. “You were the love of my life. You had to know that, didn’t you?”
“I’d never met another woman who made me want to know my fate before,” he says softly. “I just wish… it could have been different.”
