The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Front Yard

by Kristin Schell

Sometimes instead of focusing on what the other person is saying, I’m planning what I’m going to say next. How awful is that? My poor listening skills affect my ability to remember. I’m always worried my memory’s going because I can’t remember a darned thing. The cure, for me, is learning to listen.

Tips for Listening Practice being an active listener with these small but important steps. These pointers seem so obvious, I’m embarrassed to say how often I need reminding. • Maintain eye contact. • No interrupting. • Wait your turn before speaking. • Don’t try to solve or fix the problem. • Stay attentive. • Be aware of your body

language. • Pay attention to what isn’t being said. • Smile with your eyes. • Don’t be afraid of silence. My neighbor Nicole loves to use the phrase “tell me more.” It gives permission for people to go beyond polite conversation and share deeper.

What if we shifted our focus to similarities? To welcoming one another, listening to stories, learning from one another? It’s time to change the conversation. I believe most social ills can be healed or prevented by the simple act of talking to one another, face-to-face, at a common table.

Our flaws and idiosyncrasies are what make us interesting to one another. Rather than let our differences define and divide us, we must celebrate them.

Entertainment puts the emphasis on me.

When we acknowledge and understand the places in our lives that are broken, there’s less room for judgment of others.

Grace can only flow freely through cracked pots.

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.”

Notice. Pray. Show up. Love.