Black Ops (Expeditionary Force, #4)

by Craig Alanson

“Joe, your species has absolutely nothing going in your favor. You are primitive, your brains are tiny, the best of you would lose unarmed combat against a Ruhar teenager. Based on extensive conversations I’ve had with your species over the internet, you might possibly be THE most ignorant species ever to be considered sentient-” “Whoohoo!” I exulted. “We’re number one, baby!” “That is not something to boast about, Joey. Anyway, although your species does appear to have nothing, zero, zilch, zippy going for it-” “This is your idea of praise?” “Wait for it, waaaaait for it. Although you monkeys have every disadvantage, the Merry Band of Pirates has been remarkably successful out here, and it is not all due a magical talking beer can. Major Smythe’s teams parachuted into a heavily populated alien city, conducted a successful attack, and overcame serious obstacles to return without the Kristang having any idea humans were ever there. The Flying Dutchman ran into an unexpectedly tough opponent, and still accomplished the mission though a combination of determination and cleverness. You monkeys have been crushing it out here, Joe. And I’m proud to be part of this crew.” “Holy crap. You’re serious?” “Yeah, like I would ask to be considered an honorary ape if I wasn’t serious about it. Come on, Joe, I thought we were having a moment here.”