Girl Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur

by Cara Alwill

The Champagne Diet.

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life. Because you become what you believe.” —Oprah Winfrey

Nobody can replicate the genius that you possess. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you will set yourself free from the fear and insecurity that plagues so many women.

other people’s version of “reality” is just that—their version. It is reflective of their experiences, their fears, and their set of beliefs. Your reality is yours and yours alone. And it should be as fabulous as you want it to be.

You must believe you are worthy of your desires and that you have all the tools within you to achieve success. You must release blame, guilt, fear, stress, and any other negative emotion that does not serve you. GIRL CODE: Secret You must envision your world through the eyes of positivity and possibility. The moment you do that, you open up a world of endless abundance.

We each have a unique path to walk in this life, and there is a reason that yours is unfolding the way that it is. Embrace your journey and look for the lessons. Believe in divine timing, and know that what is meant for you will not pass you. GIRL CODE: Secret Her success is not your failure.

Reach out to that woman who is achieving great success and talk to her! Send her an e-mail and congratulate her. Ask her out for a coffee. Depending on how well you know her, see if she has some time to mentor you or offer you a word of advice. We must create a new vibe with each other. We must feel comfortable congratulating and helping our fellow sisters. When you believe that there’s enough to go around, why wouldn’t you want to celebrate someone else’s success?

You know a woman is strong, beautiful, and secure by the way she empowers and inspires others.

If I envy someone, that means I am inspired by them. I do not see myself in competition with anyone; I love to see other women succeed and be powerful. I believe in uniting with each other, not competing.

Women need more self-love. Women need to learn to empower one another. If you see a beautiful woman, tell her. If a woman is being a great mother, tell her. Wearing cool shoes? Tell her. Lost weight and looks great? Tell her. There is nothing more empowering than that. Women need to start acting like ladies again.

“Follow your instincts and do not let other people’s opinion of you become your opinion of yourself.” —Sarah Jessica Parker

I don’t think happiness is a gift we are given unfortunately. It’s a path we choose to embark upon, and we have to beat that path out for ourselves.

Rachel Luna, Kelly Lynn Adams, and Jenn Scalia.

What do women need more of? I want to say “balls” again, but I’ll use “confidence” instead; belief in themselves. Teamwork; empowering one another. Asking for assistance; don’t attempt to do it all alone. A good cry when things don’t work out. Letting go of things that are not meant for us.

“The difference between successful people and others is how long they spend time feeling sorry for themselves.” —Barbara Corcoran

Take your moment, and feel the sadness, frustration, whatever it is you’re experiencing. Set a time limit for feeling bad. Tell yourself, “I can feel this emotion, but in fifteen minutes, I’m getting up and stepping into action again.” The best way to pull yourself out of self-pity is to go do something positive for yourself or your business. Idea rejected? Go treat yourself to a glass of champagne, bring a pretty notebook with you, and start coming up with new ones. Lost your dream client? Put on your favorite outfit, go book a manicure or a blowout, and chat up the women in the salon. And don’t forget your business cards—you never know where your next dream client will be.

“It’s very important to take risks. I think that research is very important, but in the end you have to work from your instinct and feeling and take those risks and be fearless.” —Anna Wintour

Here’s the secret, babe: you’ve got to interrupt your fear with gratitude. Research shows that we can literally shift our energy, increase our happiness, and become physically healthier when we change our attitude to gratitude.

Fear isn’t real. Yes, it’s a feeling, but it’s not a tangible thing—and with positive thinking and action, we can be fearless. We have to remind ourselves of that every day. I think that most of the time the fear we feel is a fear of failure. But failure is an opportunity.

“Why give it energy? . . . I always have a moment of empathy. I think to myself, Man, they must really be going through something today . . . Ignore the negativity and stay positive.” —Lady Gaga

Think about how you want to react, think about how you want to feel afterward, and know that you are in total control of your response.

“When you feel copied, remember that people can only go where you have already been, they have no idea where you are going next.” —Liz Lange

Insecurity competes, confidence empowers.

“Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply about what you believe in. And, when you stumble, keep faith. And, when you’re knocked down, get right back up and never listen to anyone who says you can’t or shouldn’t go on.” —Hillary Clinton

you will evolve. Not everyone will get it. Evolve anyway.

If you feel guilty over cutting someone loose, think about this: Do they feel guilty about treating you poorly?

GIRL CODE: Secret You will evolve. Not everyone will get it. Evolve anyway.

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” —Lady Gaga

GIRL CODE: Secret Embrace the imperfect moments. Look for lessons. In every situation, especially the challenging ones, you must ask yourself, How can I be better? How can I grow? Commit to finding your diamond lining.

“You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.” —Elizabeth Gilbert

being envious of someone else isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s a sign that we want something more for ourselves. The problem occurs when we allow jealousy to fill us with negativity, paralyze us, and stifle our own success. When we count someone else’s blessings instead of our own.

Who are the women in your life? Are they supportive? Do they empower you? Do they listen to you? Do they have your best interest at heart? If the answer is no, then it’s time to let them go.

never forget that every single person you meet in your lifetime makes up a part of your personal journey. To always treat people that we meet on this journey with respect, no matter how or when they come into our lives, as many times in life the people from your past resurface in your future in the most unexpected ways.

I have had some of the most awful things said about me, which were all crazy untruths, but it never truly hurts or affects me. I had to stop and realize that this was their negativity on life, their anger at life, and ultimately had nothing to do with me. I always taught my staff the same thing. Rise above and never speak poorly of others, even if they are doing it to you.

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” —Dita Von Teese