Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture

by Roxane Gay

I believed people were inherently good and that the meek should inherit. I was faithful and believed in God. And then I didn’t. I was broken.

Structurally so perfect . Impactful.

I wanted to assemble a collection of essays about rape culture—some reportage, some personal essays, writing that engaged with the idea of rape culture, what it means to live in a world where the phrase “rape culture” exists.

What is it like to live in a culture where it often seems like it is a question of when, not if, a woman will encounter some kind of sexual violence?

Why are men so aware how horrible prison rape is yet so casual about women being raped other than from a standpoint of property damage.

“Yeah. I deposited my check in the wrong account so I’ve been overspending on my debit card. I got like $175 in fees.”

Omg I've always hated this so much. Being overcharged is not the same as being raped.

When she lists “feminism” as an interest, her message requests decrease by 86 percent and the number of rape threats she receives triples.

It's wild that the belief that women are not inferior to men is a deal breaker to so many.

How did we ever get to a place where victim blaming was wedged so far into our brains?

They wanted to have something to believe in, rules to follow, a formula, reasons other girls got raped and they didn’t: short skirt equals rape; too much beer equals rape; unlocked door equals rape.

Anisha tells me, “A good therapist knows you have to live in the house while you remodel.”