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February 14 - February 14, 2024
Fix me. Tape my paper heart back together.
Did he understand the agony of knowing I’d never call him mine?
“I needed you, Manning. I felt like nothing and nobody without you.”
You can’t come back into my life and tell me it’s a mess when you’re the one who created it.”
The longer I was in her presence, the more certain I was I had only one option left—tilt the universe until she fell into my arms.
“I knew the second I put my lips on yours, I’d be in-fucking-capable of letting you go. That was why I could never do it before. Those nights we had . . . in the truck, on the lake, and the kitchen counter . . . once I crossed the line, there was no turning back for me. I could never just wake up the next morning and not have you as mine.”
“For so long, you’ve been perfect to me. Untouchable. Unblemished. Now I want to touch you, Lake. I want to blemish you. I don’t want you perfect anymore. I just want you.”
Otherwise, I’m going to take what I wanted from the start. And I’m going to erase him. For good. For-fucking-ever.”
Unequivocally, without question or condition, I loved Manning and he was mine, and I didn’t want to wait any longer.
“I want to feel every part of you against me.”
“I want to know all the ways you fit me.”
“You can touch me. I’m completely yours.”
“Don’t pull away,” he said. “I’ve spent a lifetime trying to stay away from you while you did nothing but make it hard for me. Do not pull away now that I can touch you.”
“You want to know the truth?” he asked. “I’ve dreamed about it more times than I want to admit—coming inside you and claiming your cunt in the most irreversible fucking way.”
But how can I be in love with anyone when you exist?”
“I’m so in love with you, I have been for so long, that there’s no room for anyone else, not even my wife.
That’s how I know I still need you. Without you, I could have all this and way more, and it still wouldn’t be enough.”
“And because I fought it so hard, that love is deep and unshakeable. That’s how I know you’re the love of my life. That love is a part of me.”
“I want to be where you are,” he said. “New York can be your dream home, but mine is you.”
don’t need anyone to carry you to me. You must’ve always known, when I was ready, I would come for you.”
Wherever Manning went, I’d follow. If he wanted to live amongst the constellations, I’d move with him around an immovable universe, guided by starlight, and when we got separated, fate would light the path back to each other. Because you couldn’t move the stars—Manning and I were inevitable—and as I stood in awe of the infinite night sky, I thanked the heavens for that.
