Move the Stars (Something in the Way, #3)

by Jessica Hawkins

“I’ve been worried, Lake.” Worried. He was worried. Good. I hoped it kept him up at night, his worrying. That he replayed over and over in his head my silent sobs as I’d stood by the altar and kept my mouth shut.

I’d changed that night I’d lost him for good.

He couldn’t recognize beauty where it wasn’t obvious.

He’d turned down real love because others would judge it.

He refused to accept what he deserved unl...

“Are you happy I left?” I asked. “Does having me gone bring joy to your life?” His nostrils flared as I provoked him. “You know it drives me fucking insane, Lake.”

The truth was, it scared me that I wanted him to suffer, because it meant I wanted him to care.

“It’s a crapshoot. Sometimes the radiator works, other times it doesn’t.” “I can fix that,” he said. Fix it, I thought. Fix me. Tape my paper heart back together.

“Don’t fix my heater. Don’t check on me. Just go.” “I’m not here to check on you.”

Seeing the way I still got under his skin gave me great pleasure.

“You were supposed to go to USC and excel, meet someone worthy of you, lead a fulfilling life, but this? This is—” “This is my life,”

“I didn’t know it would turn out this way, Lake. Your life, and mine, nothing is how I thought it would be.”

“This isn’t what was supposed to happen.” He ran his hand over his face. “I didn’t . . . the choices I made . . . I never thought you’d end up worse off, that you’d leave home—”

I’ve found a way to be happy. You can’t come back into my life and tell me it’s a mess when you’re the one who created it.”

You treated me like glass, but I’m made of more, Manning.

“Then tell me there’s not one thing in the world that can make you happier,” he said, “and I’ll go. Tell me you are truly content with all this. With him.”

“I’m as happy as I’m capable of being,” I said. “That’s not good enough.”

collarbone. He pulled down my other strap and wet his lips, undressing me the same torturous way he’d dismantled my heart, piece by piece, slow and painful.

I’d asked him for all of this before, and he’d denied me. It would destroy me to have him and lose him again.

“Because I wanted you,” he admitted. “And I was ashamed.”

“I could eat.” “Didn’t you just have breakfast?” I asked. “I’m hungry again.” He glanced at me from under his lashes. “Starved, even.”

I needed to let her go or make her mine for good. I couldn’t handle the in between anymore.

She was a little older, not as put together, and definitely not as trusting. That didn’t mean I didn’t want her as she was, though.

I’d just gotten that golden silk in my hands for the first time in years, and he’d been running his fingers through it all this time? Fuck him.

The longer I was in her presence, the more certain I was I had only one option left—tilt the universe until she fell into my arms.

She grabbed my shoulders, stunning me into silence. “What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?”

He knows how badly he hurt you, yet he has the balls to show his face here.

You were young, and so fucking optimistic, and I hated him for stealing some of that from you. But you’re an adult now.” Tying on her waist apron, she pinned me with a look. “If you go down this path, you have no one to blame but yourself.”

“At least this time when Manning crushes you, you’ll know it’s coming.”

“I was hoping you’d wear your hair down,” he said, his breath near the top of my head. “I like it that way.” “I know you do. That’s why I didn’t.”

“Am I bringing out your feisty side tonight? Or is this the new you?” “I’m not feisty,” I said. “I’m hurt. By you.”

“I’m not going to wear my hair down for you, because you aren’t my husband or boyfriend. You aren’t even my friend.”

“I knew the second I put my lips on yours, I’d be in-fucking-capable of letting you go. That was why I could never do it before. Those nights we had . . . in the truck, on the lake, and the kitchen counter . . . once I crossed the line, there was no turning back for me. I could never just wake up the next morning and not have you as mine.”

“Just because I put us in this situation doesn’t mean I don’t suffer. You don’t see how I’ve struggled each day.”

“I’ve always thought of you as mine, but now you will be for real. If you thought I was overprotective or possessive before, you have no idea how bad it can get. Are you ready for that?”

He’d beaten my heart black and blue, so what right did he have to try and take it back?

“Love me?” “Was there ever any question that I do? Even with all the fucked-up things I did, you can’t tell me you didn’t know, for a moment, that I was in love you.”

“It was explosive before,” I breathed. “Fireworks.” “Maybe you don’t feel what I do,” he said. “Just because we aren’t tearing each other’s clothes off doesn’t mean there aren’t fireworks.”

“Eat?” I asked. “We just had sex. How can you think about food now?” “Well . . .” He turned, a corner of his mouth cocked. “I know it was your first time, but typically—”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I can’t tell you it was the worst thing in the world unless you want me to lie.” I didn’t want him to lie, but I wouldn’t have minded hearing it was the worst thing in the world.

“I want to be where you are,” he said. “New York can be your dream home, but mine is you.”

A sense of relief came over me, as if I’d been anticipating bad news for days. Maybe I deserved this after what I’d done to Tiffany.

The sky seems dark now, but that’s how light shines through.

“Guess I don’t have to ask if you still love her as much now as you did back then,” Henry said. “More.” I had to laugh at how sad it was. “So much more.”

“You’re a grown man, son. Fear’s not a good enough excuse anymore.”

I’d considered him in decisions I should’ve made only for myself.

I’d finally given up on destiny, on the stubborn stars, and on the idea of us, but by the way my heart raced, it was clear I still hadn’t been able to let go of Manning—not completely.

I wasn’t his immaculate, bright-eyed girl anymore. And to me, he was no longer my Manning, just the man I’d loved and lost.

My stomach fluttered. Maybe that’s where my wings had been hiding all these years?

Manning made me happy, but he’d made me unhappy more.