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If this body won’t give me nice things, fine, I’ll fucking take it.
I never knew I had the capacity for cruelty. When I plead with myself, when I beg so pitifully, I ignore, I neglect. I’m so scared, I’m in pain and I don’t care. I stare on, unfeeling, unmoving. I condemn myself to failure without batting an eyelash. I sleep soundly while I drown. No sympathy, no compassion. I could call for help, but I hold my tongue.
Today, I forgot how to put my smile on.
She lit a candle for every dream caught in the crossfire of growing up and called herself the Queen of Lost Things.
10, Sunshine. You’re dreaming again. The longer you dream the more it will hurt waking up. You aren’t a dancer. You aren’t strong enough to live alone. You will never make it to art school. 8:12You should know you will never sparkle like that. Leave sparkling to those who were born with stardust on their skin. You will never dance. You will never be a poet. You will never be an artist or an author. You will never lose weight to the point you will even be an imitation of those sparkling things. 8:16 You are a sales associate. This is what you are through and through. A sales girl
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45Where do dream things go when the dreamer wakes? How many times now have you killed that sparkling girl you’ve dreamt up again and again? 8:48Don’t look so concerned. Don’t bother feeling ashamed. No one cares about dead dreams. You are only a murderer if someone cares. So, stop caring. 8:54You’ve condemned yourself to dream, so dream.
No time to walk with the world tonight.
