Love, Hate and Other Filters

by Samira Ahmed

honorific “auntie,” the title accorded all mom-aged Indian women, relation or not.

ghagra choli—a ball skirt and short blouse

kajal

the sooty black eyeliner favored by generations of South Asian women.

we always take off our shoes at the vestibule (we pray in the house, so the home is holy), or why the major Muslim holidays are on different days every year (Islam follows a lunar calendar).

nazar

Evil eye much like Italy

“compliments of envy,” or especially when I would suddenly get sick, my mom would take the nazar off.

egg, and hand it to my mom. She carefully takes it in her right hand and sweeps it over my head while she recites a quiet prayer asking God to remove the evil eye and keep me under his protection. The whole ritual takes barely takes two minutes,

bury it later.

I’m scared of the next Muslim ban. I’m scared of my dad getting pulled into Secondary Security Screening at the airport for “random” questioning. I’m scared some of the hijabi girls I know will get their scarves pulled off while they’re walking down a sidewalk—or worse. I’m scared of being the object of fear and loathing and suspicion again. Always.

It’s selfish and horrible, but in this terrible moment, all I want is to be a plain old American teenager. Who can simply mourn without fear. Who doesn’t share last names with a suicide bomber. Who goes to dances and can talk to her parents about anything and can walk around without always being anxious. And who isn’t a presumed terrorist first and an American second.

Quran says that whoever takes a life of an innocent, it’s as if he has killed all of mankind—” “And if anyone saves a life, it’s as if he’s saved all of mankind.

“These terrorists are the antithesis of Islam. They’re not Muslim. Violence has no place in religion, and the terrorists are responsible for their own crimes, not the religion and not us.”

Timothy McVeigh’s letter to Fox News written in 2001 shortly before his execution, and a novel that is said to have inspired McVeigh’s actions, The Turner Diaries. The Diaries describe a violent Aryan revolution in the United States that overthrows the government and seeks to take over the world.

From our beginning as a nation, we have admitted to our country and to citizenship immigrants from the diverse lands of the world. We had faith that thereby we would best serve ourselves and mankind.1 1 Judge Abraham Lincoln Marovitz, Nov. 17, 1994 US Naturalization Oath Ceremony

We must build bridges, conquer hate with love, and meet intolerance with a renewed commitment to education and open-mindedness. From many, we are one.

Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring, Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish, Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?) Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d, Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me, Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined, The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here—that life exists and identity, That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1892.

Bigotry may run through the American grain, but so too does resistance. We know the world we are fighting for.