nearer and nearer to is agency. Or maybe authority: owning one’s life, for better and for worse, saying out loud, “This is who I am, this is who I’m not, this is what I want, this is what I’m leaving behind.” In my experience, our culture teaches men to do this quite well. Women, it seems, have a much trickier time with it. It’s only quite recently that women have even been permitted to ask these questions, and we’re just getting the hang of it, many of us, fumbling and awkward—really, really? Me? Are you sure?
