How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life

by Massimo Pigliucci

“A man cannot live well if he knows not how to die well.” Life, for the Stoics, is an ongoing project, and death, its logical, natural end point, is nothing special in and of itself and nothing that we should particularly fear.

Men who have made these discoveries before us are not our masters, but our guides. Truth lies open for all; it has not yet been monopolized. And there is plenty of it left even for posterity to discover.”

That framework is the idea that in order to live a good (in the sense of eudaimonic) life, one has to understand two things: the nature of the world (and by extension, one’s place in it) and the nature of human reasoning (including when it fails, as it so often does).

The discipline of desire (also referred to as Stoic acceptance) tells us what is and is not proper to want. This, in turn, derives from the fact that some things are in our power and others are not. We can appreciate that crucial difference from an understanding of how the world works, as only people who are not schooled in physics make the mistake of thinking that they control more than they actually do (that is, they engage in wishful thinking).

We must make the best of those things that are in our power, and take the rest as nature gives it.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

If there’s a remedy when trouble strikes / What reason is there for dejection? / And if there is no help for it / What use is there in being glum?”

On the contrary, the Stoics say, we should pay attention to the parameters in life’s equation that we do control or influence: making sure that we have embarked on a voyage we really want to make, and for good reasons;

One of the first lessons from Stoicism, then, is to focus our attention and efforts where we have the most power and then let the universe run as it will. This will save us both a lot of energy and a lot of worry.

as Cicero put it. I derive satisfaction from knowing that, quite irrespective of the actual outcome, I’m doing my best.

And yet this is precisely the power of Stoicism: the internalization of the basic truth that we can control our behaviors but not their outcomes

when you are attached to a thing, not a thing which cannot be taken away but anything like a water jug, or a crystal cup, you should bear in mind what it is, that you may not be disturbed when it is broken. So should it be with persons; if you kiss your child, or brother, or friend… you must remind yourself that you love a mortal, and that nothing that you love is your very own; it is given you for the moment, not for ever nor inseparably, but like a fig or a bunch of grapes at the appointed season of the year, and if you long for it in winter you are a fool. So too if you long for your son or your friend, when it is not given you to have him, know that you are longing for a fig in winter time.

elementary logical fallacy known as making an “appeal to nature”? In other words, are they arguing that something is good because it is natural,

a fundamental aspect of being human is that we are social, not just in the sense that we like the company of others, but in the deeper sense that we couldn’t really exist without the help of others; the implication is that when we do things for the good of the polity, we are actually (perhaps indirectly) benefiting ourselves.

If [you] must live in a palace, then [you] can also live well in a palace.”

When Alexander magnanimously (or so he thought) asked Diogenes what he, the most powerful man in the world, could do on behalf of the philosopher, the latter looked up and said something along the lines of “you could move, you are blocking my sun.”

But for a Stoic, there is no trade-off between A and B: nothing can be traded if the price is the compromising of your character.

you need to be part of the lucky elite or you won’t have a good life. This outlook puts most people on the perennially losing side of things, condemning them to the pursuit of material goods because they mistakenly think that their happiness and worth depend on acquiring them. Psychologists call this the hedonic treadmill: you keep running, but you ain’t goin’ nowhere.

“If we see a house… we conclude, with the greatest certainty, that it had an architect or builder because this is precisely that species of effect which we have experienced to proceed from that species of cause. But surely you will not affirm that the universe bears such a resemblance to a house that we can with the same certainty infer a similar cause, or that the analogy is here entire and perfect.”

Although Hume developed a powerful counterargument against the appeal to design

the Stoics can be thought of as pantheistic (or perhaps panentheistic)—that is, as believing that God is the universe itself and therefore we all partake in the divine nature. The only difference between human beings and other animals is that we are capable of the highest attribute of God/Universe: reason. That is why the proper way to live our lives is by using reason to tackle our problems.

You have embarked, made the voyage, and come to shore; get out. If indeed to another life, there is no want of gods, not even there. But if to a state without sensation, you will cease to be held by pains and pleasures.”

philosophy is the child of ignorance.”

Of one thing beware, O man: see what is the price at which you sell your will. If you do nothing else, do not sell your will cheap.

The Stoics derived their understanding of virtue from Socrates, who believed that all virtues are actually different aspects of the same underlying feature: wisdom. The reason why wisdom is the “chief good,” according to Socrates, is rather simple: it is the only human ability that is good under every and all circumstances. One can easily imagine other desirable things that are only good under a certain set of circumstances and that can, or even should, be traded off if the circumstances change. To be sure, being wealthy is better than being poor, being healthy is better than being sick, and being educated is better than being ignorant (standard pairs of preferred and dispreferred indifferents).

‘for no soul is robbed of the truth with its own consent,’

If something goes wrong early on in a person’s development, it is difficult for reason alone to rectify the resulting amathia later in life.

“Why then are you indignant with her, because, unhappy woman, she is deluded on the greatest matters and is transformed from a human being into a serpent? Why do you not rather pity her—if so it may be? As we pity the blind and the lame, so should we pity those who are blinded and lamed in their most sovereign faculties. The man who remembers this, I say, will be angry with no one, indignant with no one, revile none, blame none, hate none, offend none.”

But every rational soul by nature dislikes conflict; and so, as long as a man does not understand that he is in conflict, there is nothing to prevent him from doing conflicting acts, but, whenever he understands, strong necessity makes him abandon the conflict and avoid it.

Lameness is an impediment to the leg, but not to the will; and say this to yourself with regard to everything that happens. For you will find it to be an impediment to something else, but not truly to yourself.”

that it is shame, not physical pain, that truly brings down a human being.

But someone who dies, say, as a result of a terrorist attack is not a hero—he is a victim. He probably did not display courage and other-regard; he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

In a sort of life judo, the Stoic faces up to adversity by treating life itself as a wrestler in the training ring, as an opponent who is not (necessarily) out to beat us, but whose purpose is to keep us on our toes; the Stoic becomes eager to face his opponent because that’s the way toward self-improvement.

“I do not know whether I shall make progress; but I should prefer to lack success rather than to lack faith.”

coping is an essential human skill that is obviously helpful not just to people confined to wheelchairs, those battling depression, or those affected by autism. Coping skills are useful to all of us, since we will always encounter tough situations in life with which we must come to terms.

must die, must I? If at once, then I am dying: if soon, I dine now, as it is time for dinner, and afterwards when the time comes I will die.

Moreover, I am a biologist. I know that death is a natural occurrence, the result of the particular evolutionary pathway taken by our ancestors eons ago. (If we were bacteria, for instance, we wouldn’t die of old age, only of accidents; then again, we wouldn’t be able to develop philosophies of life either.)

death itself is not under our control (it will happen one way or another), but how we think about death most definitely is under our control. That’s the part we can and need to work on.

Will you realize once for all that it is not death that is the source of all man’s evils, and of a mean and cowardly spirit, but rather the fear of death? Against this fear then I would have you discipline yourself; to this let all your reasonings, your lectures, and your trainings be directed; and then you will know that only so do men achieve their freedom.”

for the Stoics, death itself is what gives urgent meaning to life, the possibility of leaving life voluntarily gives us the courage to do what is right under otherwise unbearable circumstances.

Wherever I go, there is the sun, there is the moon, there are the stars, dreams, auguries, conversation with the gods.

(hate the sin, not the sinner),

Stoic idea that to live a good life we have to learn about how the world actually works (as opposed to how we wish it would work), and that we must also learn how to reason correctly in order to best handle the world as it is. Appreciating and using the pertinent findings of modern psychology to flourish in our lives, then, is a most Stoic thing to do.

Why are we so anxious about all sorts of things? “When I see a man in a state of anxiety, I say, ‘What can this man want? If he did not want something which is not in his power, how could he still be anxious? It is for this reason that one who sings to the lyre is not anxious when he is performing by himself, but when he enters the theatre, even if he has a very good voice and plays well: for he not only wants to perform well, but also to win a great name, and that is beyond his own control.’”

it is our choice, our own attitude, that turns solitude into loneliness. We may be alone, but we do not consequently need to feel helpless.

Whoever then has knowledge of good things, would know how to love them; but how could one who cannot distinguish good things from evil and things indifferent from both have power to love?

a friendship of the good is that rare phenomenon when two people enjoy each other for their own sake because they find in each other an affinity of character that does not require externalities like a business exchange or a hobby. In those cases, our friends become, as Aristotle famously put it, mirrors to our souls, helping us grow and become better persons just because they care about us.

Virtue is the highest good, and everything else is indifferent. The Stoics got the first part from Socrates, who argued that virtue is the chief good because it is the only thing that is valuable under all circumstances and that helps us make proper use of things like health, wealth, and education. Everything else is indifferent

Follow nature. That is, apply reason to social life. The Stoics thought that we should take a hint from how the universe is put together in figuring out how to live our lives.

our decisions and behaviors are under our control. Outside of our control is everything else. We should concern ourselves with what is under our control and handle everything else with equanimity.