How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate
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Acceptance, while challenging, can also feel liberating. It isn’t resignation—it’s choosing to honor the pain that is there, a practice known as radical acceptance
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Acceptance makes pain more tolerable, and when things feel too hard to sit with, that’s a sign that practicing acceptance will help.
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“Sharon Salzberg loving-kindness meditation”
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They found that donating even $5 contributed to happiness more significantly than spending on oneself.
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Notice how I said that Linda could pay attention to and shift her thoughts, not suppress them.
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As mindfulness master Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “As long as you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong, no matter how ill or hopeless you may feel.”
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Why make new friends given that my old ones dumped me? But if she had, she’d have missed the joy her new friendships offered.
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When we crave companionship most, we may be most at risk of misreading social cues in ways that leave us feeling disconnected, for instance misjudging another person’s forgetfulness as maliciousness.
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My sense, influenced by principles in DBT, is that it’s inevitable that you’ll face dissatisfaction in relationships. Given this fact, the ability to repair relationships is more important than preventing a rift in the first place.
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Describe the facts Express how you feel Assert or ask for what you want Reinforce/reward Mindful Act confident Negotiate, if needed
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It drives me crazy to hear how often women are asked, “Why are you still single?” as if our relationship status is not just chance, but something to justify.
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I hope to give you a dose of respectful support for all those times the pangs of loneliness dull your bright light. It can truly feel hard to be single or unhappily coupled—I don’t want to minimize that for a second or to have you think that wanting a loving relationship is all in your head. The suggestions in this book aren’t meant to imply that you somehow need fixing. Rather, I want to honor that it can be painful to not have something you want. It is certainly distressing to be invalidated by others.