People are more responsive to intermittent reinforcement (someone who is available, then not) than they are to continuous reinforcement. There’s something about not knowing when we’ll receive the next reward (or text) that makes us stay focused and excited. Inconsistency keeps us attentive and trying. But I didn’t want to sit around salivating; I’m not a dog in training. I decided that part of my mindfulness and self-compassion practice included honoring my emotions, not dropping everything when a guy I’d seen five times in as many months finally decided that he was ready to make a plan. I was
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