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I felt his hunger, and I realized that same hunger was mirrored inside me and had been building for a while now. Almost as desperate as he was, I kissed him back. The world became hazy. I only felt.
My hands shook as I touched my lips. I had never been kissed like that in my whole life. Was it supposed to feel like I’d been branded?
“How was church?” I asked. “I’m still a sinner. Why do you think I go every Sunday?”
“No matter how much you want to protect the people you love, Caleb, you can’t. You can only be there for them. You can’t choose their path because it is theirs alone. It’s their fight, not yours.”
“Stop brooding, Caleb. Fight back.” I smiled at him, squeezing his hand. “Give me back your smiles because there is something wrong with the universe without them.”
His eyes flashed with surprise, and I blushed, not having meant to tell him that. But it seemed like the night for confessions in the dark.
“Thank you, Red,” he whispered warmly. His voice felt like a caress.
“Don’t let go of my hand, Red,” he said as he walked us out of the apartment. “What about pancakes?” I asked, confused. “Pancakes means holding your hand and walking on the beach right now.”
The wind was a little chilly, and I wrapped my arms around my middle to ward off the cold. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Caleb shrug out of his jacket. “Here,” he said, placing it on my shoulders. “What about you?” “Just hold my hand. You warm me up.”
“All I could think about was how to make you smile again. Not the fake ones you give to people to be polite. I want your real smile, where your eyes light up and your lips stretch up to your ears.”
What is it about this girl? Red tore my world apart, brick by brick, and revealed something more. Something inside me I had long forgotten. Something I yearned for.
“Thanks, really,” I said, then looked at her more closely. “Why is your face shiny?” Her brows drew together. “Are you for real? This is what you would call a highlighter. I’m a princess. I glitter. I sparkle. I rule over the land.” “The land of glitter.”
The coach called a time-out. Caleb’s smile was from ear to ear as he sauntered toward me like he’d already won the game and I was his prize. I couldn’t help smiling back. Several girls approached him and tried to engage him in conversation. He just gave them a polite smile, shook his head, and continued over to me.
“Pancakes,” I choked out. Whenever we said pancakes, we never really cooked or had pancakes. It was our code word for Let’s get away from here and do something else together. He laced his fingers with mine. “Pancakes it is.”
“Wanna talk about it? I brought ice cream.” “Cookies and cream?” she asked. “Yes.” “Come on in,” she said.
“It’s one of my favorite parts in Alice in Wonderland. Alice asks the White Rabbit, ‘How long is forever?’ The White Rabbit answers, ‘Sometimes just one second.’ This”—he kissed my lips—“this feels like forever right here.” He stared into my eyes. “How can I not wish for that?”
“I’m so stuffed I feel like a hippopotamus that ate an elephant.” He patted his flat stomach. I laughed, trying to picture that. How could he eat so much and still have sexy abs? “Hippos are normally herbivores,” I told him. “But there have been reports of them actually eating meat. So fine, you are a hippo that ate an elephant.”
Away from the city, the stars decorated the heavens, complementing the romantic radiance of the moon. The air was just beginning to cool down from the heat of the day. I smelled the grass, sharp and fresh. Wild lavender and dandelions were deemed weeds in the city, but in this place, they were special—magical even.
“See now, that’s just sad. True enough, there are some bad things that are just part of your landscape, and you can’t simply wash them away. But you can learn to accept them and not let them define who you are,” he continued, his voice turning deeper. He tipped his head back so he could look into my eyes.
“It’s what you learn from the bad things that can determine the path you choose. If you embrace your scars and let them make you stronger, you might be able to open up and move beyond the pain.”
looked up at him when he didn’t continue. “What was he searching for?” “Color.” He looked in
“Good morning,” Caleb murmured, his voice rough from sleep. “I dreamed of you.” Then he flashed a naughty I-am-going-to-get-you-in-trouble smile. “Wanna know what it was?”
I heard a growl at the back of his throat before his mouth devoured mine. He took what he wanted, and I gave it to him—because I was helpless not to, and because I wanted to.
