Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4)

by Tahereh Mafi

“You know, I think I might be the only one of us who doesn’t have daddy issues. I loved the shit out of my dad.”

I have a great fear of drowning in the ocean of my own silence. In the steady thrum that accompanies quiet, my mind is unkind to me. I think too much. I feel, perhaps, far more than I should. It would be only a slight exaggeration to say that my goal in life is to outrun my mind, my memories. So I have to keep moving.

“Who says you can’t be cute and kick ass at the same time?” Kenji winks at me. “I do it every day.”

“The world tried to crush you,” I say, gently now, “and you refused to be shattered.

“But how?” she says, her voice breaking on the word. “How do I get them out of my head?” “Set them on fire.” Her eyes go wide. “In your mind,” I say, attempting a smile. “Let them fuel the fire that keeps you striving.” I reach out, touch my fingers to her cheek. “Idiots are highly flammable, love. Let them all burn in hell.”

“Those who do not understand you,” I say softly, “will always doubt you.”

She leans back, just an inch. Looks up. “And I,” I say, “I have never doubted you.” “Never?” I shake my head. “Not once.”

The certainty that she would fight for me. Protect me. And knowing this makes my heart feel so full that, sometimes, when we’re together, I can hardly breathe. I wonder if she knows that I would do anything for her.