Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4)

by Tahereh Mafi

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you have feelings, so yeah, I find that hard to believe.”

KENJI ✋🏼😭

But I’ve gone unexpectedly solid. Like the blood in my veins has congealed.

“I’m right behind you, bro.” He winks at me. Just once.

Kenji is just iconic

my arms are heavy and weighted down as if trapped in wet cement and I’m screaming but no one can hear me,

“There what is?” “The moment,” she says, “where the anger ends, and the curiosity begins.”

“Who is she? Are you serious? She’s Warner’s ex-girlfriend.” I nearly fall out of the tree.

like I’m an actor in a play directed by strangers

I don’t want to talk about Warner anymore. Ever again. I want to rip my heart out of my chest and throw it in our piss-filled ocean for all the good its ever done me.

My abilities have always been a curse—a source of endless pain and conflict. Everything about me is designed to kill and destroy and it’s a reality I’ve never been able to fully accept.

The Reestablishment is planning on destroying Sector 45.” She stares at me. “And that includes everyone in it.”

Loneliness is a strange sort of thing. It creeps up on you, quiet and still, sits by your side in the dark, strokes your hair as you sleep. It wraps itself around your bones, squeezing so tight you almost can’t breathe,

It scares you simply by standing by your side.

Loneliness is an old friend standing beside you in the mirror, looking you in the eye, challenging you to live your life without it. You can’t find the words to fight yourself, to fight the words screaming that you’re not enough never enough never ever enough.

Loneliness is a bitter, wretched companion. Sometimes it just won’t let go.

His selfishness set him free.

So. I’ve become a wraith.

How I wish I’d ripped this heart from my chest long ago.

I am not insane.

Because for the first time in my life, I actually like the way I look.

Now, I laugh. Out loud. Now, I don’t give a shit.

YESSSSSS!!! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!

Her hair is both gone and not; it’s like a soft, dark crown that suits her in a way I never could’ve expected.

And then I’m sobered, all at once, by the realization that Juliette is no longer mine. She’s no longer mine to love, mine to adore. I’ve never been more attracted to her in all the time I’ve known her and there’s nothing, nothing to be done about it.

I can’t believe I’ve managed to lose her. Twice. That she loved me. Once.

“Cállate la boca, cabrona,” Nicolás snaps at her.

i laughed so hard! i'm so glad i understand Spanish 😂

I won’t be pretending cuando cuelge su cuerpo muerto en mi cuarto.”

DANGGGG! she got sass

Juliette’s smile vanishes. Gone too soon is the wistful, faraway look on her face. She says nothing, but I can sense the anger and sadness boiling over inside her.

This pen is my only outlet, my only voice, because I have no one else to speak to, no mind but my own to drown in and all the lifeboats are taken

“Trouble in paradise, Mr. Warner?”

She put my hand in the fire once. Just to see if it would burn, she said. Just to check if it was a regular hand, she said. I was 6 years old then. I remember because it was my birthday.

poor baby 😭

My eyes sting and I fight back the impulse to cry. “You promise?” “Hey,” he says softly. “Come here, kid.” I take a tentative step forward and he wraps me up in his arms, warm and strong and safe

i need a Kenji 🥹

“What do you mean?” I look up. “I mean I’m pretty sure I’ll have to kill them first.”

If Juliette’s powers didn’t offer her body a level of functional invincibility I’d be deeply concerned about her standing alone and unguarded in front of all her enemies.

Floorboards peel upward and fissure apart. Cracks like thunderclaps as they shatter up the walls. Light fixtures swing precariously before smashing to the floor.

They all drop dead.

I started screaming today.

I only know now that the scientists are wrong. The world is flat.

I know because I was tossed right off the edge and I’ve been trying to hold on for seventeen years.

The frustration of having so much power, so much power and feeling so utterly, completely powerless

“I’m the supreme commander of Oceania,” the woman says to me, smiling. “Your father and I have come to take you home.”