Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4)

by Tahereh Mafi

But the fire of true hatred, I realize, cannot exist without the oxygen of affection. I would not hurt so much, or hate so much, if I did not care.

I have a great fear of drowning in the ocean of my own silence. In the steady thrum that accompanies quiet, my mind is unkind to me. I think too much. I feel, perhaps, far more than I should. It would be only a slight exaggeration to say that my goal in life is to outrun my mind, my memories.

At this, I laugh again. “Because I,” I say, pointing at myself, “am a monster.” Kenji looks confused. “And how is that news to anyone?” I smile. He’s funny, I think. Funny guy.