Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4)

by Tahereh Mafi

“I miss you,” she says. It’s a whisper I almost don’t catch. “I’m right here,” I say, gently touching her cheek. “I’m right here, love.” But she shakes her head. Even as I pull her closer, even as she falls back asleep, she shakes her head. And I wonder if she’s not wrong.

“Oh my God, J, I think I’m in love.” I ignore him. “No, seriously,” he says, “like, is this what that is? Because I’ve never been in love before, so I don’t know if this is love or if I just have, like, food poisoning?” “You don’t even know her,” I say, rolling my eyes, “so I’m guessing it’s probably food poisoning.”

Juliette will never, ever forgive me. I will lose her. And it will kill me.

I love all of her. Her impossibilities, her exasperations. I love how gentle she is with me when we’re alone. How soft and kind she can be in our quiet moments. How she never hesitates to defend me. I love her.

This, I think, is the way to die. I could drown in this moment and I’d never regret it. I could catch fire from this kiss and happily turn to ash. I could live here, die here, right here, against his hips, his lips. In the emotion in his eyes as he sinks into me, his heartbeats indistinguishable from mine. This. Forever. This.

“What do you mean, you can’t breathe? Did she shoot you again?” That reminder spears straight through me. Fresh, searing pain. God, I hate him so much.