Candy

by Luke Davies

For every hundred-dollar cock in Candy’s cunt, Candy needs a two-hundred dollar jab in the arm. And I’m Prince Pimp, welcome to the show. I would vomit up my life if I could.

😭

And then I feel—bang! just like that—that it would be better to be dead.

If there’s enough heroin in my blood, the world gives me comfort. If there’s not enough, it makes me sad. Comfort is beauty muted by heroin. Sadness is beauty drained by lack of it.

Some people are attracted to sickness, to the kind of madness where sparks fly off the head, to the incoherence of despair masked by nervous energy, which winds up looking like bewildered joy.

When I was using it was like, tomorrow everything will be all right, so today doesn’t matter so much. I thought if I could hold my breath for long enough then finally tomorrow, full of light and pollen, would arrive. And here it is. I can start breathing again.

🩷🩷