Basic Witches: How to Summon Success, Banish Drama, and Raise Hell with Your Coven

by Jaya Saxena

spells using figures made of wax or cloth, and the ancient Egyptians would fill their tombs with small models of the servants, animals, and amenities they wanted to bring into the afterlife. In the case of this spell, you’ll be pouring the magic into a figure that represents you. Using the modeling clay, build a figure that represents the ideal body you’ve always thought you “should” have. (You can use Play-Doh, Sculpey, or homemade salt dough made with 1 part salt, 2 parts water, and 4 parts flour.) As you build, think about all the things you’ve denied yourself or thought you didn’t deserve because of how your body looks. Think of all the things you would have done if you’d had a “perfect” body. Close your eyes and smash the figure in your hands. Then start rolling it into a ball between your palms, keeping your eyes closed, and picture the ball beginning to glow with the concentrated essence of perfection and potential. Hold it in front of you, and picture it glowing brighter and brighter. On the face of the ball, imagine a symbol taking form. Open your eyes and draw that symbol on the paper so you don’t forget it. If you don’t see a symbol, just draw whatever comes into your head when you first open your eyes. This represents your ideal body, a body that can do whatever it wants. Remodel the clay into a figure that looks like you—your actual body, the way it is today. Don’t exaggerate, but also don’t flatter: make it as detailed and realistic as possible. As you build,...

IF YOU WANT to chill out MAKE warm milk with honey

Let my mind be calm My nerves quiet Muscles smooth as silk Let my body fill up With warmth and peace From this honey and milk

IF YOU WANT to nurture a friendship MAKE hot milk chocolate

First, grate a bar of milk chocolate until you have about 2 ounces (about ½ cup) of grated chocolate. (You can add some dark chocolate if you like, but for maximum potency use mostly milk.) Next, warm 2 cups of milk in a small saucepan (aka your cauldron) over medium heat. When the milk reaches a simmer,

reduce the heat to low, add 1 teaspoon of brown sugar, and stir until it dissolves. Now sprinkle the grated chocolate into the milk mixture and stir while visualizing yourself and your friend: a particularly meaningful conversation you’ve had, a fond memory of a fun shared experience, or just all the things you like about the person. If you’re making the hot chocolate together, say these things out loud! When the chocolate is dissolved, add a pinch of salt, both for spiritual cleansing and because it strengthens the chocolate flavor. As you add the salt, speak or think this incantation: Friends for now Friends forever May the elements tie us together

IF YOU WANT boundless energy MAKE banana ice cream With the power of electricity and sharp knives, you can transform fruit into a one-ingredient soft serve ice cream. Bananas are associated with heroic energy and protection, as are blenders (yes, witches have given power to blenders), so make this to motivate yourself to achieve greatness. Slice 2 bananas, place them in a zip-top freezer bag, and seal the bag. Freeze until bananas are very firm (probably overnight). In a food processor or blender, blend the frozen banana slices for 3 to 5 minutes, until the texture resembles soft-serve ice cream. While plain bananas are delicious, you can further enhance the power of this dessert with flavorings: chopped cherries for love, honey for happiness, or coconut for mental flexibility.

Swordplay: If you dream of being not only a sorceress but a magic-wielding warrior, look for classes in fencing, kendo, or even longsword (google “historical European martial arts” plus your city or town). Be prepared: you’re in for some heavy-duty bruising once you start to spar. But if you’re the kind of person who likes hitting other people with swords, you’ll probably love it. (Jess is the kind of person who likes hitting other people with swords and is confident about this point.)

Shuffleboard: Nowadays, we may think of shuffleboard as a sport reserved for grandpas, but it has a rebellious, witchy history (plus it offers a pretty good shoulder workout). According to one of her descendants, Bridget Bishop, who was accused of witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts, was an outspoken woman who spent a lot of time hanging out with sailors in her tavern. As if that weren’t bad enough, she had the audacity “to entertain people in her house at unseasonable hours in the night to keep drinking and playing at shuffleboard, whereby discord did arise in other families, and young people were in danger to be corrupted,” according to Paul Boyer and Stephen Nissenbaum in Salem Possessed.

A RITUAL FOR A Relaxing Netflix Binge Witches are allowed to relax, and watching endless episodes of TV is a fine way to do it. Use this ritual to help cast off your guilt and give yourself permission to go deep. WHAT YOU’LL NEED: The biggest blanket you can find Your favorite snack Your favorite streaming service, ready to watch Good television and movies are a conduit to other worlds, experiences, and lives: a fictional little boy with superpowers, or a lonely teenage girl, or a rich family a thousand miles away. Immersing yourself in their universe via Netflix binge can transport you not only mentally, but also emotionally. There is also catharsis in watching bad television, which can provide the healing magic of putting yourself not just elsewhere, but nowhere. Because although spells and witchcraft may be all about stimulating the brain, sometimes you just want your brain to turn off. The trick, however, is to watch without judgment. Society puts so much pressure on us to be constantly productive—even our time to ourselves is supposed to be mentally or physically stimulating. A ritual is the perfect way to create the accepting space needed for this ultimate disappearing act. Sit cross-legged and throw the blanket over your head, so your whole body is completely covered. Close your eyes, and envision the blanket slowly turning into a warm, golden ball of light. Then begin to hum, imagining all your stress, guilt, or other concerns emanating from your body and into th...

When you feel like you have a good sense of what you want to watch, emerge from the blanket, and take a bite of your snack. You are now ready to start watching.

Good coven-building relies on one of the core pillars of many witchcraft practices: the rule of threes, also known as the threefold law or the law of return. Basically, whatever energy you put into the world, you will receive in return three times stronger. This rule is good to keep in mind no matter what you’re doing, but especially when making friends. Everyone understands that if you’re a thoughtful, caring person you tend to attract thoughtful, caring people, and if you’re mean and vindictive, it’ll eventually come around to bite you in the ass. But the rule of threes adds an urgency to that common knowledge. When building a coven, the rule of threes applies not just to energy, but actual people. If you lie about who you are and don’t treat the people in your life well, you may soon find yourself surrounded by people treating you three times worse than you ever treated anyone—or worse, surrounded by no one at all.

In terms of the rule of three, it’s not just good energy but your own unique energy that brings back good returns, in the form of others who truly understand you. If you’re getting back nothing but negative vibes, you may be wasting your aura on the wrong crowd. Being yourself isn’t just a statement or a boost for your self-esteem, it’s literally attractive—it brings people toward you.

Because friendships often begin with shared interests, spend time in places and doing activities you enjoy. You could meet a potential new coven-mate at a play or at a concert, on a sports team or in a hiking club, or at a Magic: The Gathering competition at your local comic book store. Surface interests often correlate with deeper similarities. If you’re not the club-joining type, identify someone in your life who seems cool that you want to get to know better. All good relationships balance self-acceptance and growth, after all. A truly powerful bond will leave you feeling as comfortable as possible with yourself (because no one feels comfortable with themselves 100 percent of the time), but also open to change. Good friends won’t ask you to apologize for the things you love and will lead you to new things you don’t know you love yet.

Asking someone to get closer to you can be scary, like asking someone on a date. But if you have the courage to take that risk, your effort will be returned to you threefold. The easiest way to bridge the gap is to move forward. Ask them to hang out, invite them places you’re going, get their number and start texting them. Pay attention to how they react to your advances; tune in very carefully to their energy and use it to bolster your own feelings of friendship and connection. Even if the friendship doesn’t become super-close super-fast, you’ll have increased your powers of self-confidence simply by putting them into practice.

A TAROT RITUAL TO Attract Friendship Like a love spell, this ritual will not blindly bind someone to you, but make you the most attractive version of yourself. You’ll use the symbolism of the tarot to channel your energy into your future relationships. WHAT YOU’LL NEED: A deck of tarot cards (find them in bookstores, specialty shops, or online) A fancy goblet (or cup) of water Remove the Three of Cups and the Sun from the tarot deck. The Sun, when upright, represents optimism, fulfillment, and the happiness that comes from being one’s truest self. It symbolizes who you are in your friendship journey. The Three of Cups represents friendship, community, and the celebration of those things. It symbolizes where you want to wind up in your journey. Sitting on the floor, make a triangle with the cards and your body, with the Sun

to your upper left and the Three of Cups to your upper right. Place the goblet of water in the middle of the triangle. Close your eyes, and picture a strand of gold thread connecting you to the Sun, charging the card with all the attributes you’ll bring to any new friendship. Then picture that thread extending from the Sun to the Three of Cups, taking your energy out into the community. Finally, join the thread from the Three of Cups back to you, so that the positive energy you put into the Sun is now flowing back to you through friendship. Sit for as long as you need to more clearly envision your future, in which you’re opening yourself up to the world and receiving love and trust in return. When you’re done, pick up the goblet and drink the water. Carry the two cards with you until you start making connections.

Not all decent friendships delve into dark territory. But being able to admit to being scared, or sad, or uncertain, or hurt, or haunted by the past can add a special dimension to a friendship

At the heart of vulnerability is openness: a willingness to reveal yourself, but also to accept others. But even more important than sharing is listening. Don’t overwhelm your friends by dumping problems on them; show yourself to be a compassionate ear, a careful thinker, an active participant in cultivating a judgment-free environment. Think back to the rule of threes: the more openness you give to others, the more you’ll receive when it’s your turn to share.

Instead of hiding what you’re going through, bring your demon to the party and see how that feels. Does being open about a personal struggle overwhelm your group and suck all the air out of the room? Or can all of you look the demon in the eye and help each other not to flinch? Challenge yourself to acknowledge negative thoughts and feelings instead of merely sweeping them under the rug.

This part of vulnerability is less about figuring out how to formally address your demons and more about exploring their nature.

If you want to read about some demons with fancy Latinate names that, quite frankly, we made up, check out here—but learning to name your demons is more about recognizing their true nature. Vulnerability doesn’t mean just blurting out complaints—“I’m sad,” “I’m lonely,” “what you said made me angry,” “my knee hurts.” It means exploring and sharing the reasons behind your anger, sadness, and pain. When that’s hard to do alone, an insightful friend should be able to help. Be sincere, flexible, and willing to entertain multiple causes of (and solutions to) your problems. Opening up about a problem but then sneering at every proposed solution is not vulnerability—that’s just bitching.

Sometimes sharing your darkest, ugliest struggles can rebound in unfortunate ways: your friend might enable further toxic thinking instead of helping you banish it, or she might simply be careless with your secrets. (If you need to establish protection around yourself, try the spells on pages 101 and 126.) Don’t kick yourself too hard. The process of opening up, regardless of the outcome, will help you learn to look your demons in the face and, eventually, dance with them on your own.

A COLLABORATIVE RITUAL TO Deepen Friendship Good friends create happy memories but also understand your sadness and secrets without judgment. This ritual celebrates all the many aspects at the heart of friendship. WHAT YOU’LL NEED: A collection of objects A cigar box or other small container This ritual requires prep work by both you and your friend. Before you meet, meditate on difficult memories, personal traumas, anxieties, perceived flaws, and secrets you want her to understand. (We’re calling your friend “her,” but these friendship spells work with friends of all genders.) Then find or make a small token to represent each of these experiences or qualities: create small artworks, or find inexpensive objects to represent your secrets (for example, a plastic ring could symbolize your worry about finding a life partner, a playing card could represent fear that your success is due to luck instead of skill, or a dry leaf could indicate anxiety about aging). Collect six to eight of these and put them in the box. Have your friend do the same. Meet your friend in a quiet, comfortable, familiar place with your boxes. Explain to her what each item in the box represents, then have her do the same for her items. Then present your box to her, saying: I give you my sadness, not as a burden but as a gift. When your friend accepts the box, she should say: I accept your sadness, not to cure but to protect. Then repeat the exchange with your friend’s box of secrets. For the following ...

for Alice in Wonderland, and the dry leaf could represent your upcoming hiking adventure. When a week has passed, meet your friend again in the same place. Tell her the new meanings you’ve devised for her objects. Then have her do the same for your objects. Present your friend’s box of secrets, now a box of happy thoughts, back to her, saying: I give you what we share together, though I still protect your sadness in my heart. When your friend accepts the box, she should say: I accept this as a treasure, though our bonds are both light and dark. Repeat the exchange with the other box. Keep your original box, which now contains both your shared vulnerabilities and happiness, in a safe place in your home.

Emotional work—like listening, thinking, and advising—is work, though often we think of it as “just part of friendship” or “just something women like to do.” But donating comfort and solace to a friend is a labor of love, just like knitting a sweater or making a pie. The healers and wise women who were later called witches recognized the value of this effort; their life’s mission was to look after the physical and emotional health of their community, after all. But although they might have been able to cure a broken heart with a potion, or devise a ritual to ease someone’s nerves, or concoct a salve for sadness, they also expected fair compensation. When a friend comes to you with a problem, you can imagine yourself as the village wise woman or healing crone: A young woman of the community has approached you with her problem—heartbreak, say. She has braved difficulties traveling to your hut, which is far from the village, maybe even in a perilous place, and she feels ashamed of anyone knowing that she’s there or why. But she knows she’s hurting and will take some risks to find help. She has brought payment, though not necessarily money; she knows she doesn’t owe you something just because she’s in need. How would the village witch handle such a request?