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October 31 - October 31, 2017
Coffee: A warm, delicious alternative to hating everyone forever.
Few things in life were more entertaining than haunted houses. The people living in said haunted houses, perhaps. Or the time-honored tradition of watching paint dry because, sadly, most haunted houses were not actually haunted.
within. Assuring me I was their only hope. What can I say? Word gets around.
hair. But seeing the departed and convincing said departed to go into the light were two very different skill sets.
I don’t want to look pretty. I want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening. —MEME
Mostly because one could never have too much of the dark elixir I considered more of a lover than a beverage.
“Hey, do you know what I called the last guy who said something like that to me?” When
he only raised a noncommittal brow, I said, “An ambulance.”
dimension. I was going to go in myself. Check shit out. Come back no worse for the wear. But noooo. The man with the balls had to go in because he’s manly with manly balls and a penis to guide him.
“Killing it. When it comes to research, I don’t kill it so much as pet it and set it free.”
“You’re such a freak.” “You’d be amazed at how often I hear that.”
It’s weird how you can be in love with someone one day, and hunting them for sport the next. —MEME
Since I’d had enough coffee over the last twenty-four hours to see noise,
I once made a pot of coffee so strong, it opened a jar for me. —T-SHIRT
always carry a knife in my purse … you know, in case of cheesecake or something. —T-SHIRT
I’ll tell you what’s wrong with society. No one drinks from the skulls of their enemies anymore. —T-SHIRT
“I keep telling people, Damn It is not my last name. It’s not even my middle name.”
God is love, but Satan does that thing you like with his tongue. —BUMPER STICKER
“Yeah. What are you doing?” “Feeding my box turtle.” After a long pause, I asked, “Is that a metaphor for something?” “Not especially. How are you?”
I nodded. Nothing I could say at that point was going to help his acceptance. He felt helpless. Which was about the worst feeling in the world.
If I were a Jedi, there’s a 100% chance I’d use the Force inappropriately. —TRUE
Apparently, “Just fuck me up” is not an appropriate coffee order at Starbucks. —MEME
Apparently, angels didn’t like to be summoned. I could hardly blame them. I didn’t even like to be texted most of the time.
“What? I’m having a difficult time making decisions lately. It’s called decision fatigue.”
Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.
That which doesn’t kill me, makes me weirder and harder to relate to. —T-SHIRT
She had important shit to do. Important shit I had no problem interrupting, so I tried again.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim. —TRUE FACT
Apparently “spite” is not an appropriate answer to, “What motivates you?” —MEME
I try to just take one day at a time, but lately several days have attacked me at once. —MEME
The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” Today I whispered back, “I am the storm.” —MEME
lids rounded. “She’s in Santa Fe. She’s at the Loretto Chapel.” “The church? The one with the staircase?” The Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe was famous mostly due to a staircase that was built there in the 1870s. Because of several anomalies surrounding the staircase, many believe the carpenter who built it was Saint Joseph, or even Jesus himself. He nodded. “They’re keeping her in
