The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Other Dementias, and Memory Loss (A Johns Hopkins Press Health Book)

by Nancy L. Mace

Telling the person who has dementia outright that her mother has been dead for years may upset her terribly. Most of us want to tell “the truth,” and it is reasonable to see how the person reacts to the truth. Most of the time, unfortunately, the person who has dementia cannot remember this very important piece of information even after being told several times. Her focus on these memories probably means that they are important to her. Ask her to tell you about her mother, look through a photo album from those years, or retell some old family stories. This responds to her feelings without hurting her again and again. Sometimes people feel that this idea is “spooky” or that the person is “seeing the dead.” It is much more likely to be another symptom like forgetfulness, wandering, or catastrophic reactions. Perhaps you will decide that this issue is not worth the argument.